New York was great, my company's offices are in Lower Manhattan, right near Wall Street. Also the trip was even more special because it was Eric's and my first wedding anniversary. His present was I got him a ticket to fly over and spend the week with me . So when I wasn't working we got to explore New York, and hangout with our dear friends Daniel and Gerardo.
It was during our week in NYC President Obama gave his State of the Union Address. Many people applauded progressive vim and verve in the speech. I found myself thinking... "okay, sounds great but where have you been for the past 3 years?". I obviously will vote for President Obama come November, but I am still not excited about it. After watching the seemingly endless string of GOP Presidential debates. it is now even more clear that the 2012 Presidential election will essentially be a choice between an marginally effective democratic President, and whichever bat sh*t crazy Republican survives the circular firing squad that is this years' primary process.
So we have a GOP contest essentially between Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich? Seriously?? It's like the Republican Party has decided to double down on their quest for total irrelevance. The good news is, either one is a losing proposition for the GOP. The wingnutty base will never support Mitt "the Mormon", who once boasted he was more pro-LGBT rights than Ted Kennedy.
As far as Newt "Swingrich" goes, (his three wives, affinity for adultery and open marriages aside..) it is safe to say that Newt is just wayyyyy too crazy for vast majority of Americans. So I think President Obama can safely keep the moving boxes stored away for another four years. Yet the question is not who will be President come January 20th, 2013, but rather who will control Congress.
After NYC it was on to Los Angeles for more meetings for work, and some warmer California weather. I will admit it was nice to be back in the U.S. for a while It's always nice to be able to drive on the right side of the road in a car with the steering wheel on the left side of the driver's seat. I will confess that I have never really cared for L.A., but this time I actually found myself not minding the gridlock on the 405.
I guess it is a result of just missing California. This was even more evident when last weekend I took a couple days off, and flew up to San Francisco.
It's always odd the first time you return to a city you used to live in , after moving away. You feel like you live there, but don't live there. It's kind of weird. I wandered down past my old apartment building in the SOMA (South of Market) neighbourhood. of San Francisco. Standing outside, it felt like I had just forgotten my keys and was locked out of my own flat.
Then you see somebody else's name on your mailbox and it all kicks in... Oh yeah, I don't live here any more.
While in SF I had the great good fortune to get to see my friend Rudy in his current run with the Word For Word Theatre Company. He is in the play "Food Stories", and as always, was amazing in it. I also was able to spend some time with my Sister, her husband and my glorious, brilliant, and perfect (can you tell I'm a proud uncle?), nieces and nephew. For the most part it was nice just to spend time revisiting my old stomping grounds. I even was able to poke my head in at my old offices at Kaiser Permanente in San Bruno, and in Oakland, and catch up with some of my former co-workers.
All of which, I will confess had a bitter-sweet feel to it. Friends and co-workers here in London often ask me if I "miss" San Francisco. That is a complicated question. Obviously there are lots of things and people I miss. My friends, my family, and the weather. (It is a balmy 28 degrees Fahrenheit here in London today.) But the question implies that if I say "yes" I miss SF, it means I somehow regret moving here, and if I say "no" then it feels like I am trivializing the people and things I left behind.
Obviously I don't for one minute regret the decisions that resulted in my moving here, and if time were turned back, I would make the exact same decisions again, without a moments hesitation. What I do regret is the fact that Eric and I didn't really have a choice.. Moving to London was the only way we could be together. Living together in the United States was not even an option for us. Not because of money, or distance. But simply because of bigotry and stupidity.
The United States Government, which I support with my taxes, forced me to move, and yes, that fact still makes me angry.
Well meaning friends, for whom the reality of DOMA ( the ridiculously mis-named "Defense of Marriage Act"), doesn't apply; will often say; "Nobody forced you move Dave. You could always have just stayed here." The sheer idiocy of that statement is mind-boggling. Of course I could have stayed in the U.S., but without the person I am married to. It is hard for these people to imagine having to choose between your Spouse and your Country. Yet that is exactly the choice thousands of bi-national same sex couples are forced to make every day.
How would you feel if, in order to even be with, let alone marry the person you love, you had to move overseas. All for no other reason, than the basic legal protections other married couples enjoy, we are denied, because the Republican Party needs to keep Gay and Lesbian Americans as the one group they can still legally hate, and discriminate against.
London is a fantastic city, and I am fortunate to have a great job, and Eric and I have wonderful friends and family here. So what is the problem? The fact we didn't have a choice. The basic rights given to other tax-paying Americans to have the option to live together and build a life in the United States we were denied, for no other reason than bigotry and discrimination codified into law by DOMA.
1 comment:
Did you hear about Washington State? We're about to join the ranks of grown up peoples' too!
You'd love the northwest corner - it's like Bavaria with an adjacent ocean/islands....lemme know when y'all want to come visit!
Nic
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