The issue is, and has always been, Donald Trump

The words of the President of the United States, matter. Even the words of this President, matter a great deal, and that, is the problem.

On a call with all the nation's Governors yesterday Donald Trump told a lie. A big lie. A lie so ridiculously easy to disprove that it set a new bar, even for him. The Governor of Montana was telling the President about the critical shortage of testing supplies and capacity in his, and  many other states. Trump's response to to interrupt and claim that there was no problem with testing, and that the US had done more testing than any other country.

Wait.. What?!?

The sad thing is this really isn't news. Donald Trump lies all the time. The fact is you would be very hard pressed to find a press conference or public speech by this President that didn’t contain deliberate out and out lies. 

This began on day one. With Trump's insane claims of crowd size at his Inauguration, and that he actually won the popular vote because millions of people voted illegally for Hillary Clinton. The list grew from there on a DAILY basis. Donald Trump’s lying has become so normal that to a large extent we as a nation have leaned to just live with it,

Up until now it was mostly an annoyance, and fodder for cable news panels and late night talk show hosts. For the last three plus years, defenders of this President have routinely told us this was, “Trump being Trump”. That Donald Trump says whatever he wants because it “Owns the Libs!” and that’s okay, because look at the results! - Well, we all can see the results now.

Now, it is “Trump being Trump” that is literally putting American lives at risk.

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The important thing to understand is,  not the fact that Trump lies all the time, about even inconsequential things. The issue that is putting all of our lives and the national security of the country at risk, is WHY he lies.

Donald Trump will say ANYthing in the moment, that he thinks will make him look good, sound good, or absolve him from responsibility or accountability for what he has, or has not done.

For Donald Trump, these ridiculously false claims affirm his sense of self. What this means is, when Trump thinks, acts or speaks about this crisis, his focus is NOT, how can he help Governors and Mayors in their efforts to combat the pandemic. But rather, how can he shift blame for his failures to do so, on to them.

For Donald Trump, his focus is NOT what does he, as the head of the Executive Branch of the Federal Government need to do improve the lives of millions of Americans. But rather, what does he need to SAY, regardless of whether or not it’s true, that will improve his re-election chances.

For Donald Trump, his focus is NOT how best to physically, economically and medically protect the country. But rather, how best to politically protect himself, and to that end, Donald Trump will literally SAY ANYTHING that he feels helps him, and blindly disregard any FACTS that he feels do not. 

When Donald Trump says testing is not a problem... Know that yes, it is. When Donald Trump says states don’t need that many ventilators.... Know that yes, they do. When Donald Trump says his administration is doing a fantastic job and critical supplies are being delivered to where they are needed most.... Know that no, they are not. 

The fact that Donald Trump wants to put a positive spin on a crisis is not the problem, The problem is, Donald Trump will disregard facts, evidence and even science that doesn’t support that spin.

The United States now has more confirmed cases of Covid-19 than China did at the height of their infection curve. It did not, and will not “magically disappear”. It is not, and has not been “totally under control”.

The fact, that the President of the United States is incapable of dealing with the reality of this crisis, because it threatens his ego; is literally killing Americans.

How the 2020 Race has now completely changed

Hey there folks...

For the most part I have been silent on the 2020  US Presidential race, as I waited for the Democratic Primary process to run its course. Yet as is often the case in politics, global events have totally taken things in a new direction.    Nations around the world  have taken drastic  steps to try to stem the spread of the Corna Virus.   While the United States response  has been,  to put it mildly....lacking.

Partly because the President of the United States chose to igmore the warnings from health experts around the globe and in his own Adninistration.   As this wasn't a problem he could Tweet his way out of  he instead chose to downplay  it,  then deny it,  they try to blame it on his poltical opponents.

As the virus spread more widely across  Asia, Europe and the the United States.  Trump still stuck to his fact-free talking points  that the problem was going to just go away,  or was getting better,  or  was a "hoax".    Meanwhile  the United States was doing NO testing  and even had gone so far as to turn down help from the World Health Organization to begin tests.  

Then the Stock market took a nosedive.

The one honest emotion and instinct Donald Trump has, is above all else,  self preservation.  Seeing his re-election campaign against  "democratic socialism"  about to be totally derailed.  He  spoke to  the nation in a rare televised Oval Office address.

It did not go well....

So... here we are.  Stores cleaned out of hand sanitizer and (of all things....) toilet papaer.   Americans told to  "social distance"  themselves from other people, while thousands of people are told to work from home,  or if they can't work remotely  just stay home on  unpaid leave from their jobs.

The 2020 General election campaign is now ALL about Covid19. And here are the key questions that every campaign ad from now until November needs to ask, (Questions Trump is desperately trying to AVOID.)

1) He was briefed on the virus in January and did NOTHING why?

2) The Pandemic Response desk at the NSA as disbanded by HIM - Why?

(We know why.. because it was put in place by Obama and  the Organge Foolious' ego can't stand anything the Black Guy did. Still it will be fun to watch him squirm, splutter and sweat cheeto dust everytime a reporter asks the question.)

3) The World Health Org. testing kits were refused by HIM - Why?

The total incompetence of the Trump Administration in responding to this crisis IS now the entire context of the 2020 Race and it is a context that Trump can't Tweet his way out of.

In the past week Donald Trump has shown himself to the a direct danger to the health and security of the American People. And THAT is now what is on the 2020 ballot. Not "socialism" not any Biden verbal gaffes, not AOC and the green new deal and not any fictitious border wall that Mexico still isn't paying for.

The  2020  election is now a referendum on the leadership of President Donald Trump.

Trump's incompetence in responding to a global pandemic is now the question. on the ballot. If the RNC hopes in anyway for the GOP to survive 2020 , they should dump Trump AND Pence and nominate Bill Weld and John Kasich.

Sadly the Republican Party is now just a pathetic "MAGA" cult and is deaf to anything but Trumptweets and Sean Hanity talking points. So.... Good luck with that.

Meanwhile... over in Asia.

Back in 1982 a movie came out called  "Making Love".  It was the first major Hollywood movie to feature a gay love story as the main plot line. It was seen as ground-breaking for attempting to show same sex attraction as something oridinary and even normal. It was a huge controvesy at the time, The movie even was forced to have a "Warning message” at the very begining of it, letting you know there was gonna be icky gay kissing at some point in the film.

The media coverage of the movie was largely negative And many public figures spoke about how "dangerous" this movie was and how showing same sex attraction as anything other sick and evil was wrong. At the time, as a young man struggling with my own sexaulity those messages of hate and fear made a lasting impression.  I remember when the film came out, I was in middle school going through puberty and terrifed by the fact I was attracted to other boys, not girls.

While growing up , Gay charnacters in movies and TV were either 1) super creepy villians or 2) campy comic relief . The HBO documentary “The Celluloid Closet” brilliantly examines the history of LGBT representation in movies.

But recently  there has been an amazing  development  in Asia with a new surging trend of dramas with LGBTQ content. 

What started as a cult phenononon in Japan’s graphic novel (Yaoi) world has made the jump to the small screen. With more and more programs being produced each year. With so many running that it is hard to keep track of them all. 

Leading the charge are studios in Thailand which have produced some of the most popular shows.

These series's in some cases are so popular, that  the actors in many of these programs have become rock star level celebrities acoss Asia. Attending official “Fan Meet and Greets” where thousands of fans show up to see their favorite stars (often renacting scenes in character).  The plots for many of these shows tend to be pretty standard. Most are set on a college campus where a group of students meet, become friends and invariably chemistry sparks between various pairs, both same sex and opposite sex. 

What makes it interesting is all the romantic storylines are treated the same. The two boys fall in love and face the same ups and downs and the boy and the girl do.  Recent programs have had  storylines  tackle far more serious issues. Recent productions have dealt with Gay Bashing, HIV/Aids, sexual assault, workplace harassment, homphobia, family rejection, and even LGBT youth suicide. 

One recent series is “Until We Meet Again”, adapted from the Thai novel of same name. It’s the story of two college students who fall in love in 1988, but their families are furious when their romance is discovered and they try to forcibly separate the lovers, driving them to commit double suicide. Both of the Fathers, horrified by what has happeend bury the two lovers side by side with a red thread tied to each of their hands, connecting them. In hopes that in their next lives the two will find each other again. Which is where the story begins. Thirty years later, the two reincarnated lovers meet on their college campus and struggle to understand why they are drawn to each other.

It is really interesting how programs being produced in Asia are far bolder in the portrayal of same sex relationship than most anything currently being made in the US. Cable and streaming service shows like Queer as Folk, The L Word, and Looking were all  groundbreaking, but have since left the stage.  Leaving American audiences with the (admittedly very funny) yet increidbly santized WIll & Grace reboot.

( Now let me say; I love Will & Grace, but the most accurate desciption of the show I have ever heard was “Will and Grace is not a show about Gay people. It is a show about four people who are, for all intents and purposes married to each other (Will/Grace and Jack/ Karen) but will never, ever have sex.)

What makes many of these programs truly remarkable (even in the context of the "BL" genre.) is the very POWERFUL and POSITIVE message of inclusion and equality that runs through them

The content coming out Asia is wonderfully produced, well written, with amazing soundtracks, and talented, engaging casts that give truly remarklable performances. In terms of positive portrayals of same sex relationships, these programs are far ahead of anything that is currently being made in America or Europe. 

What I would give to have the 13 year old me be able to watch some of these programs. Yet the good news is, even while some places in the world desperately cling to their homophobia, there is progess.

Making Broadcast History 38 Years Ago...

They say the worst thing you can have in live television is “dead air”. Suddenly in front of a room full of government and media dignitaries, with broadcasting history literally hanging in the balance, that is exactly what we were facing. Dead air.

The date was Thursday, October 15th, 1981. Two days earlier, I had boarded an Amtrak train in Columbus, Wisconsin, along with Mike Daugherty, John Garrett, Tom Gehrmann, Chris Kerwin, Anne O'Brien, Becky Weirough, Glenn Zweig, Steve Funk, and Mike Kennedy, Now in the ballroom of the Capital Hill Holiday Inn in Washington D.C. a live satellite demonstration, linking our group of American kids, and a group of young people in Brisbane Australia had just gone on the air.

We were there along with other young people who shared the unique experience of being media users, not just media consumers. We were from the “Kids 4” television project in Sun Prairie, Wisconsin. Kids4 had been on the air since 1978, and was an educational partnership between the local public access cable channel and the American Council for Better Broadcasting (ACBB, now called the National Telemedia Council )

Joining us there in Washington, was a group from the KIDS ALIVE! Project in Bloomington, Indiana. Together, we were hosting a live cultural exchange via satellite with a group of young people from down under in Brisbane Australia, who hosted the popular children’s program WOMBAT on Australia's Channel 7.

The kids from the Australian television show went first, showing an amazing video montage of their studio, the gold coast of Australia and the stories they produced there at Channel 7 in Brisbane. Then it was our turn. Or so we thought. 

Kerri Brinson from KIDS ALIVE!, looked in the camera and cheerfully announced; “Well, here’s our video montage!”  And … nothing.

A technician from COX Cable Television, hurried into the room and whispered in the ear of a nearby adult that the Video tape player in the satellite truck, was not working, and therefore none of the prepared footage we had brought with us to Washington could be shown. So we proceeded to do what we always did when doing live television. We improvised. 

The kids from Indiana looked at us like we were nuts. They were not used to working live. One of the great things about the Kids 4 program is we started out doing all of our shows live. It was only after two years we switched to recording them first, then airing them.

Still, with a ballroom full of media dignitaries watching you , plus trying to fill time  with stuff off the top your head, AND cope with at least a 5 second time delay between you and the people you were trying to interview, it was bit tense, even by our standards. But the end result turned out to be something amazing and unexpected.

That one technical glitch turned what would have been a largely scripted exchange into an actual conversation.

Instead of following a script,  we talked.  Asking each other about school, about hobbies and what was it about working with television that interested them, as well as sharing our own experiences as kids learning to use media and not be used by it.

Of course at the time, it felt like a disaster.

Looking back on that day, thirty-eight  years ago, I marvel at how much the world has changed. At the time, what we were doing in Washington DC that day was not all that remarkable from a technical standpoint. Live satellite broadcasts were hardly unusual in 1981. Yet from a cultural and educational standpoint, the Kids-to-Kids interconnect was nothing short of revolutionary.

As much as I say that live satellite television was commonplace in 1981, that isn’t to say the mechanics of it were simple. The path of the satellite interconnect - from Washington, D.C. to , Brisbane, Australia was a complex series of relays starting with a signal carried by cable to trucks parked just outside in the courtyard of the hotel. From there, the signal was  beamed by microwave across town to PBS Headquarters .

PBS then sent  the signal to KQED In San Francisco via a  satellite, 22,300 miles above the Earth. Which THEN transmitted it up to another satellite which relayed it across the Pacific Ocean,  and  down to the an earth station near Sydney, Australia.

Finally from there the signal travelled via land lines to the studios of Channel 7, Brisbane, where the Australian children received it and responded. Their messages back to the U.S. travelled in the reverse direction using landlines and satellites back to Washington, to the on-site satellite dish located in the courtyard of the Capitol Holiday Inn, which fed the signal into the ballroom room where it was seen on  large screens by all of us there.

Whew! Did you follow all that? Don’t worry, there won’t be a quiz. But here is what you need to know, everything that I just described, in all its complicated glory, the average teenager can now do with the phone they carry in their pocket. No trucks needed, no delay and now we don’t even think twice about it.

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The Interconnect didn’t radically change the media landscape, or advance broadcast technology. What it did do, was in the space of a few short hours make the world a remarkably smaller place. It showed that live satellite broadcasting could be used for more than breaking news and sporting events

More than that, it laid the foundation for the type of personal inter connectivity that today, we take completely for granted. I know this, because I do it nearly every day. At least three times a week I will face-time, or WhatsApp video call or Facebook messenger video call with friends and family scattered all over the globe.

From London, to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, to San Francisco, and  Madison, Wisconsin,  and dozens of points in between.  What is commonplace today,  was nothing short of history making on that day in 1981

The interconnect was the first global face-time session .

The greatest take away from that day for those of us fortunate enough to have been part of it, was the power of broadcast technology to bridge distances and connect people in new and exciting ways. It was, at least me, a life changing experience. A live demonstration of the power of broadcast technology to connect people and be a platform for sharing experiences and ideas, in (nearly) real time.

Media Literacy is more crucial now than ever before. Teaching young people how to harness the power of media, and connectivity as tools for education and empowerment is more important today, than it has ever been.

Teaching young people to be media users, not just media consumers has always been at heart of the mission of Kids 4 and The National Telemedia Council . That mission, which took a gigantic step forward in 1981 continues today. You can find out more about the NTC and it's mission and legacy on  their website,:  https://www.nationaltelemediacouncil.org

Those lessons of the Interconnect are even more important today than they were three decades ago. In a world where if kids in Sun Prairie, WI  want to talk to kids in Brisbane, Australia , all they need is a smart phone and a decent Wifi signal; 

Thirty-eight years on, it remains an experience that played a tremendous role in shaping my path in life I am so very grateful to have been a part of it.

Donald Trump keeps showing us who he is. We should believe him.

-From the Washington Post:

Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) screams as his head is lit on fire. Former president Barack Obama is smashed face-first like a battering ram into what appears to be part of a wooden pulpit. People with their faces replaced by the logos of news organizations such as CNN, NBC, Politico and HuffPost are brutally stabbed and shot.

At the center of the bloody rampage unfolding in the “Church of Fake News” is a man dressed in a dark pinstripe suit. President Trump’s head is superimposed on his body.

The graphic images are from a fake video that was shown during a pro-Trump conference last week at the president’s hotel and golf resort near Miami, according to the New York Times, which first reported on the video’s existence Sunday night. The clip has since drawn intense backlash from journalists and public figures who have decried it as “vile and horrific” and an “incitement of violence.” Many of the news organizations and people featured in the video have been publicly targeted by Trump, who is frequently criticized for his inflammatory remarks and anti-media rhetoric.

The video, adapted from the scene of a church massacre in the 2014 film “Kingsman: The Secret Service,” appeared to be shared to YouTube in 2018 on a channel that posts similar pro-Trump content and has been linked to a meme-maker associated with a website called MemeWorld. The site’s creator, a user known by his Internet handle, Carpe Donktum, scored an Oval Office meeting in July with Trump, who reportedly welcomed him as a “genius.”
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I will not  post  the video.  .  If you really are curious and want to see  it for yourself  you can  (at least for now)  find it on youtube --->  here. 

Maya Angelou once famously said;  "When someone shows you who they are,  believe them the first time."    Donald Trump and his core base of supporters  have shown us,  repeatedly who they are.  

They showed us in  2016 on the campaign trail and at their Rallies. 

They showed us early on in the Trump Presidency,  as they cheered and were encouraged by racially charged immigration rhetoric from both Trump and members of his Administration.

Now we have a trump campaign affiliated event, hosted at Trump property where as part of the program there was a video depicting  Trump literally murdering his opponents and critics.    Organizers of the event claim they had  "no idea" the video was going to be shown and it was part of  montage of pro-Trump internet memes.

Again- From the Washington Post:...

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Alex Phillips, organizer of the American Priority Festival and Conference, told the Times the video was played at one point during the three-day event that began Thursday as part of a “meme exhibit.” The violent parody was included in a meme compilation that also featured Trump’s 2020 reelection campaign logo, according to the Times.

“It has come to our attention that an unauthorized video was shown in a side room at #AMPFest19,” a statement posted to the conference’s website said. “This video was not approved, seen, or sanctioned by the #AMPFest19 organizers.”

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I call  complete and utter Bullshit (as Trump likes to say) on that.  Anyone who has ever attended  any sort of conference or offsite meeting knows that  ALL content is ogramzised well before hand   American Priority knew exactly what they were showing  and knew it would be very well received by the attendees..  Now facing a resulting backlash, the claims that this was an unknown video that somehow  accidentally  was shown on the main screen  at the event ...is laughable.

Groups like American Priority and other Trump/ GOP affiliated groups know who their audience is, They have done their research and know what sells. And their product, is anger. and fear. Outrage and anger are now America’s drug of choice. And a sizeable portion of the population have become hard core addicts. And like all good pushers and dealers, the GOP, the conservative media-sphere and the President himself know you need to keep your users wanting their fix. The only way the high can be sustained is to up the potency and the dosage.   

Like many Americans I have struggled to understand the world in which Donald Trump’s supporters live. It is a place where Fox News and the Alt-Right are on full volume to drown out anything that could possibly contradict their world view. If by sheer chance reality does manage to find a crack to seep through, the response is essentially to stick their fingers in their ears and yell “ LA! LA! LA! LA! FAKE NEWS! FAKE NEWS!”

That anger and mistrust of facts is critical to this President.   To maintain that firewall between his base,  and ... well,  reality. that smoldering coal of fear and mistrust of, and anger at, anyone and anything that contradicts  the Trumpworld view, needs to be fanned into a flame, then stoked into a bonfire.  That is what this horrific  video  and similar violent pro-Trump memes are all about.    It's online  revenge porn for people angry that they can't win the argument against facts. 

So the purveyors of  facts are the enemy who must be (in the case of this particular video)  killed as they worship in their "Church of Fake News"

Trump's base has, and continues to show us who they are. I worry that the Democratic Party still doesn't believe them. It’s time we acknowledge that we are not dealing with people with a different point of view. We are dealing with drug addicts. Sadly most addicts won’t accept the idea that being an addict is bad for them until the consequences of their addiction to not just themselves, but to all those around them are too great to ignore.

Donald Trump is a lying, cheating, stealing, mentally unstable con artist who's stoking that bonfire of his own vanity to the point that it could very well burn the American Presidency to the ground. 

If this latest glimpse into  Trumpworld doesn't show, once again, all to clearly who he is, and why this President must be impeached and removed from office,  then frankly America deserves the damage that is being done. 

National Coming Out Day... Looking back at a different life...

Remembering a different life...

The following is a updated repost of  one of the first blog entries I ever wrote, back in  October, 2006.  

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I was bouncing around the web a couple of weeks back and stumbled on zabasearch.com. It is a site than helps you locate addresses of people. So out of curiosity I typed in the name of my best friend from High School. Sure enough a result for his name came up. Not sure if it was the right person rather than call, I sent a note with my business card attached saying, if this was who I thought it was, to please write back.

A couple of weeks went by... and I forgot about it. I honestly didn't expect to hear anything back. Then the other day I got an email and it was indeed from him. It is an interesting experience in a way. I really have not heard from him since I attended his wedding. At the time I really envied him. He was marrying a wonderful gal and starting to build a life. They now have a five year old son with a daughter on the way due in December. He said it was amazing to hear from me couldn't wait to hear all about what I have been doing over the past few years.

I will confess, I have mixed feelings about that.

For the most part, I have not kept in touch with anyone from my High School days. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed High School, had great friends and good memories. Yet it really was a whole different life. Like many LGBT kids in the mid to late 80's I was closeted and terrified of coming out. On some level every day had some undercurrent of fear of my "secret" being discovered. The ultimate put-down was to say something was "gay" or to be called a "fag". You saw the kids who were even slightly effeminate or "different" getting tormented on a daily basis.

So you kept your mouth shut and your eyes closed. When you watched those 80's brat-pack movies, while your friends oggled Molly Ringwald and Ally Sheedy, you didnt admit to anyone, not even to yourself that you thought Rob Lowe and Emilo Estavez were really hot.

Add to that, the media was full of stories of this new "gay disease" called AIDS, and the Reagan and first Bush Administrations were not interested in getting any information about it out to the public. So like a lot of gay kids I didn't know what to think. Could I get AIDS by coming out? By even holding hands or kissing a guy? Was it really God's way of getting rid of homosexuals? The fear you felt was this huge cloud that hung over you every day. You really did wonder if you were destined to be miserable and alone for your entire life.

And of course at time I thought I was the ONLY gay kid on earth. Now I know that there were in fact more than a few. Even at my own school. But at the time, the sense of isolation was overwhelming. But then, time moved on. I left and in many ways never looked back.

I moved to Europe, studied there, came back to WI and went to college, after graduation worked, traveled back to Europe, then even moved to Asia. Eventually, I came back to the US and settled in Chicago, and then I came out.

Like many people, for me coming out was a frightening and painful process of self-discovery and acceptance. I think back on the fear I felt in those days and it seems like I am watching a movie of someone else's life. A life that I would not ever want to revisit. Yet in truth it was MY issue, not my friends. They had no way of knowing what I felt. The whole traditional High School experience of the first date, first dance , first kiss, first umm... "whatever", while a given for everyone else, was just not possible for a lesbian or Gay kid in South Central Wisconsin in the 1980's. Or at least not for me.

Many Gays and Lesbians who should be my age never lived to see today. The statistics on suicide for LGBT youth in the 1980's and 90's will give you nightmares. I am so amazingly fortunate to have the family that I do. My parents are the two most incredible, supportive and amazing people in the whole world. Coming out to them while scary as hell, was truly the end of an old life and the beginning of a new much brighter and happier one.

( Just in case I haven't told you - Thanks Mom & Dad.)

I marvel at many of today's LGBT kids with "Gay Straight Alliances" and alternative proms. When I read about kids taking their same sex partner to a high school dance, I can only smile and be amazed at how, at least in some places how far we have come. Though certainly for thousands of LGBT youth in America the reality has not changed from the one I knew .

Over the years I didn't stay in touch with people back from "back home". One wedding, an occasional Christmas Card was pretty much the limit of my contact , and even that soon stopped. Someone recently asked me why I didn't keep in touch with people from those days, and honestly I didn't really have a good answer. Hence my card to my friend.

I know what you are wondering. Will I tell my old friend (s) that I am gay? Will I open up my life now to those people from my life "then"? Does it even matter?

Honestly? I don't know. I'll keep you posted...

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FLASH FORWARD  13 years...  October 11, 2019

It is worth noting,  the friend I wrote about  in  2006 , like so many other  amazing friends from my life  have shown me  in words and deeds  what I have always suspected,  my friends are in general, a lot wiser than I am.   As  I mark today's  National Coming Out Day there are straight allies in my life who  I still cannot thank enough,  

From JJ, the friend in Wisconsin  who answered that  letter in 2006,  and reminded me  why were friends in the first place, and  still today  reminds me to laugh at life  more than  30 years on.  There are our friends we shared growing up.  Ed, the police officer in Fond du Lac and, Mike the deputy sheriff in Madison  who still give me permission to be silly,  and when needed, permission to be serious; and at all times the incredible friendship and trust to just be me.  

There are those  who i have lost.  Tim, the Pastor in Pennsylvania, and James, the School Teacher from Boston, who both  lived  remarkable lives of  always seeking the best in people and in doing so, taught me to do the same.  Then there is Khris, my first real LGBT role model, who taught me to  love  and laugh at who I am.  Each of their  passing has left me  missing them all  every day. 

There is Todd, the Lawyer in Dallas,   and Ira  the diplomat in Brussels, who both challenged my own stereotypes of how I thought friends  would react to my coming out,  and instead ended up teaching me invaluable lessons about  acceptance and true friendship, Along with Tom and Karen,  the couple in Georgia whose friendship has literally spanned three decades and two oceans , and who always knew, didn't care, and have always loved me for who I am. 

Mark, the Career Air Force officer in Germany, and Dale,  the IT guru in Wisconsin  who I had the honour of being a Groomsmen at their respective weddings, and years later are still both sharing their adventures with me.  All these amazing people, along with so many others I am blessed to call my friends.

Along with all these people, I have been blessed to have found  wonderful communities of faith where I was shown that God is Love,  and never hates.   Trinity Lutheran in Madison,  Holy Trinity In Chicago, St, Mark's Lutheran in San Francisco and St. Anne's Lutheran Church in London,

And as always, my incredible family who just by being themselves  encouraged me,  and gave me strength  to just .... be myself.

And yes,  to my friend Peter, and  my friend Chris along with  others who,  for reasons political,  social,  and religious  felt they could not  continue our friendship,  I thank you as well.  Not because  I don't miss you,  for believe, me,  I  do miss you , every day. Yet  I owe you my thanks for  showing me that the choice to live authentically does not come without cost, and therefore must not, ever be taken for granted.  

To all of you, I can only say thank you . You provide me with  living proof every day  that taking those steps to come out of the closet were by far, the best ones I have ever made

Remembering Matthew Shepard - 21 years on...

Wednesday October 7th, 1998 was a fairly ordinary day in Chicago. I was working for a small consulting firm in the near West suburb of Oak Park, and had spent the day in a series of fairly productive meetings. So I felt pretty good when I got home from work. I was puttering around my apartment making dinner when I picked up the remote control for the TV and turned on CNN.

The lead story was a brutal attack of a young man in Laramie Wyoming named Matthew Shepard. Shepard, age 21, had been beaten into a coma and left tied to fence along a rural highway outside the city. The news report noted that the victim was a young gay man and was not expected to survive.

I remember walking down into “boystown” (the north Halstead area of Chicago, and the center of the city’s Gay community). There were lots of people standing around outside the bars, and restaurants along Halsted Street, talking about what had happened in Wyoming. A makeshift memorial had been set up on the corner of Halsted and Roscoe.

I walked into the 7-11 there on the corner and bought a small votive candle, lit it and placed it with the growing number of candles, handwritten notes and flowers that were being placed around a picture of Matthew that someone had printed off the internet. I stayed for a little while talking to people who were gathered there. Some people were angry, others sad, but we all knew that something in our own community had changed as a result of what had happened,  hundreds of miles away in a cold field outside Laramie, Wyoming.

In 1998 I had just moved to Chicago after being overseas in South Korea. I was in the middle of my own “coming out” process,  and was gathering up my courage to have “the talk” with my parents when I went home for Thanksgiving in a few weeks time. I will admit the news of Matthew Shepard’s brutal murder shook me up. Suddenly the decisions I was making to live openly and honestly as who I was, had potentially fatal consequences.

On an intellectual level you always knew that there were “gay bashers” out there. People who were so conflicted about their own sexuality that they felt the way to “cure” themselves was to attack others for what they feared most about themselves. Yet now those hypothetical risks, were not so hypothetical.  What's more, those consequences now  had a face, and a name.

As I walked home, my thoughts turned to Matthew Shepard’s parents. What must they be thinking and feeling? Had they known Matt was gay? Did it really matter? Years later I would have the great honor of meeting Judy Shepard,  and hear her tell her own powerful story .

Now two decades  years later, I marvel at how my own life has changed. I see how the progress that has been made means  that the world is not as bleak and dark a place as it seemed, on that October night in 1998.

 Yet I am still saddened and angry that there are many people in America who honestly feel that Matthew Shepard got what “he had coming to him”. That demonizing , discriminating against, and even murdering Gays and Lesbians is somehow “doing God’s work”.

People with a vested interest in keeping LGBT people as the one group it is still safe to hate. People who seek to profit, personally, politically and even economically from fomenting deadly hatred and fear of others. Bigots whose actions and beliefs are the farthest thing from being Christian, yet claim to have a monopoly on what they claim God thinks and who they claim "God hates".

I really don’t have a point to make here, other than to say it’s important to remember Matthew and so many others like him who have died as a result of hatred and bigotry. If you want to get involved, here are a few great places to start...

The Matthew Shepard Foundation: http://www.matthewshepard.org/

The Trevor Project: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

The Ben Cohen Stand Up Foundation: http://www.standupfoundation.com/

The We Give a Damn Campaign: http://www.wegiveadamn.org/

The "It Gets Better" Project:  http://www.itgetsbetter.org/

Thanks,

Dave

That clear, bright September Morning

(The following is an updated repost  of an entry from Sept. 11th, 2011)

Today the media, and the blogosphere will undoubtedly be full of all sorts of remembrances and commentary around what is the 18th  anniversary of the terrorist attack on the United States on September 11, 2001.

To be honest I really don't like to dwell on the topic. Not out of any sense of personal pain, but more out of respect, for those people I know who were far closer to the events of that day than I was. My experience that day was a somewhat surreal one.

I had gotten up very early and caught a flight from Chicago Midway to Houston. I was heading there for work. It was about 20 minutes into the flight, the seat belt sign had just turned off, and people where shifting about, getting comfortable. I had just pulled out my laptop to work on the presentation I was going to be giving later that day. Suddenly the seat belt sign came back on, and the crew announced that everyone was to return to their seats and prepare for landing, the flight would be returning to Chicago.

The Pilot then came on the speaker system to say that there was nothing wrong with the plane, and we were returning to Chicago because the FAA (Federal Aviation Administration) had ordered the flight to return to "clear air traffic". He said that was all the information they had, and he apologized for the inconvenience.

Everyone on the plane thought the same thing. (Not terrorism.) Chicago Midway had upgraded to a new Air Traffic Control System earlier in the Summer and a few weeks prior, there had been a series of glitches that had delayed several flights.  Everyone groaned, made comments about "Government Efficiency" assuming it was yet another problem with Midway's system that was going to mess up  our day.

This  assumption that was bolstered when the captain came back on the loudspeaker  and announced  that we were not returning to Midway but rather we were diverted to Chicago's O'Hare International Airport.

The woman sitting next to me was happy about this thinking at least it might be easier to get on the next flight out to Houston. I nodded, and said "I hope so", thinking of how I might salvage the rest of my schedule that day and make my afternoon meetings on time.

It took us about 30 minutes of circling over O'Hare before we could land. Sitting in a window seat I watched as the line of planes waiting to land stretched to the far horizon and oddly enough, no planes were taking off. I commented on this to the woman next to me, and she said "wow Midway's systems must be really screwed up!" I laughed and said that what we get for Ronald Reagan having fired all the good Air Traffic Controllers. She laughed and said she had forgotten about that.

We landed and had to wait an additional 20 minutes to get a gate. but finally pulled up to a jetway , and we all lumbered off the plane into the gate area I was getting annoyed because people were not clearing the area in front of the door but were all standing around the televisions that were tuned to the CNN Airport Network. I was about to say a loud "excuse me!" when I happened to look up at the TV and saw CNN  replay footage from ABC of the second plane hitting the World Trade Center.

CNN then cut to live shot of a column of smoke and ash where the World Trade Center Towers were supposed to be, but weren't. I called my office and my boss told me not to come in, The area in downtown Chicago around the Sears Tower was being evacuated. I called my parents and let them know I was not in Houston, got on the CTA Blue Line and went home.   The rest of that day I did what most Americans did, watched the news, and when the images became overwhelming, I put on my roller blades and went blading along the Lake Michigan shoreline.

It was brilliant sunny day. One of those late Summer, early Fall days that you get in Chicago that make you appreciate what a beautiful city it is. As I stopped at Oak Street Beach and admired the downtown Chicago skyline, I didn't think that somehow the "world had changed". But rather I found myself thinking how the United States had  sadly, finally  joined the rest of the world.

Before that that morning, Terrorism was something that happened in other places, Israel, Lebanon London, Belfast , places far away. Even the first World Trade Center bombing for many people, didn't seem like international terrorism. After all, the people responsible were caught when they tried to get the deposit back on the rental van they had used. (How sinister could people that dumb be?)    That is what changed I think, it was the moment America lost the illusion that somehow our two oceans would keep us safe from global terrorism.

For friends of mine who lived in New York on that day,  I understand  that  today  is a much different  experience for them.   A  friend of mine is  a New York City Police Officer  who  lost an arm in the attack that day.   Another friend of mine worked  for an investment bank housed in the  North Tower,  she had a doctors appointment so she didn't go into work  that morning.   For her, today  is a reminder of  the  friends and co-workers  she lost  that day.

For the numerous friends of mine who have served, and currently serve in the Middle East  with the American and British Armed Forces, they deal with the effects September 11, 2001 on a far different level than most people ever will.

So as people all over the world will remember the events of that day, pray for those who were lost, and show solidarity and support for friends and family for whom this anniversary is far more personal than political.

God Bless America, God bless us all.

My Friend Khris...

It was 21 years ago I walked into Gentry.   A small dingy little piano bar in Chicago, on Halsted Street.   I hadn't planned on going in.  But as I walked by I heard this amazing voice singing "How Lucky can you get?" from the musical Funny Lady., 

As I stepped inside,  the singer at the piano looked up,  saw me, and suddenly stopped playing.  For a moment I thought I had inadvertently crashed some sort of private party or event.   The guy at the piano looked me up and down  said " You! Sit down here!!" and pointed to a seat at the piano.

It would be the first of many many nights,  I would sit at that piano  while Kris Francis played, sang, and cracked jokes.    It was the start of a friendship that would forever change my life.    Khris became a dear friend, and more than that a very real and powerful LGBT role model for a young man in his 20's who was terrified of coming out.  

Over the weeks, and months that followed  that first night sitting at the piano, Kris would make me laugh, always make me sing, and more than anything else, he made me brave.    When I finally did come out to my family the first person I told afterwards was Khris. His reaction was true to form;  "About f*ckin time kid...".  Then he gave me one of his enormous hugs.

People often refer to Khris's act as "tease comedy".  I always felt that was a misnomer.  As a member of the audience at one of his shows,  you were part of the show.    People who knew him soon realised to be singled out and "teased" by Khris was in fact,  a tremendous compliment.   You were not so much the butt of the joke as you were IN on the joke.   His barbs and zingers always came with a wink and smile.     His musical repertoire was pretty standard.  He'd start in the 50's move through the 60's and 70's then touch briefly on the 80's.  His progression would stop there because has he so aptly put it; "I have taste."

We would keep in touch after I moved away from Chicago,  When I first lived in  San Francisco,  we would make time to see each other whenever he was back home in Hollister.   When I moved to London, I tried in vain many times to get him to come visit. But his work schedule in Maine and on Cape Cod along with caring for his Dad back in CA made it impossible to find the time,

He always make it a point to reach out and check in  and ask  how I was doing, and always to  swap gossip about our mutual friends and share his latest jokes.    But more than anything,   he was always there for me as a friend and a sounding board.    A few weeks ago he suffered a bad fall and injured his spine. leaving him half -paralyzed, developing  sepsis and pneumonia. Yet even then,  he still wanted to make us all  laugh, and remind us to look after each other.

His condition sadly got worse,  When I visited him in the hospital last Saturday he seemed like he was trying to say goodbye,  and I wouldn't hear of it... I still don't want to believe it.   Yet the truth is my friend Khris is gone.   Passing away yesterday morning..

I will miss  him  every day. The world is a darker, sadder place without him.

Measuring Donald Trump Against the Scout Law...

Recently I found myself in a back and forth on Facebook with a dear friend and Scouting colleague who expressed dismay at my criticisms of President Trump accusing  me of  hating  the President, and cited the Scout Oath and Law as partial reasons for his support of Donald Trump.

He went on to say that  President Trump has given most of his  salary as President to charity, and  insisted that that Trump  just wants to protect our freedom, jobs, safety and borders  ,My friend closed his comment with the assertion that he was an "independent" politically,   and while he didn't like everything about Trump,  he was mostly tired of what he saw as the moral failings of the Democrats.

Recently I made a visit back the  BSA Summer Camp I attended when I was a boy.  Lining the road into camp were 12 carved wooden signs. Each with a point of the Scout Law on them.   Years later I staffed a summer camp in Western Massachusetts  where the steps leading up  to the camp's dining hall each had one of the points of the Scout Law engraved on them.

The use of the Scout Oath and Law as a political metric  or compass  is something that deeply resonates with many of us for whom Scouting has been an integral and formantive part of our lives.   I certainly have gone back to those twelve points many times in my life, for guidance. And always when I step into the Voting booth. So, in response to my friend I decided to assess the 45th President of the United States against  those familiar twelve points.

• TRUSTWORTHY. - Donald Trump is a pathological liar. He has no concept of the truth. He will say ANY thing if it supports his position or will make him look/ feel good.

• LOYAL– Donald Trump is loyal only to himself, certainly not to any of his 3 wives, not to his employees and not to the United States. Ask Jeff Sessions, or even better, ask Rex Tillerson how loyal Trump is.

• HELPFUL - Trump has gutted education programs like head start, Pre-k , Pell Grants all designed to help Americans learn , grow and achieve. He has made the LEGAL immigration process as difficult as possible as a political tool to stoke a racist voter base. Creating obstacles to both Americans and would-be Americans for no other reason than it plays well with less than 30% of the electorate.

• FRIENDLY- Trump is a vulgar clown who trades in obscenities and insults. Juvenile nicknames, crude and even bigoted insults that would get most any Scout kicked out of camp is daily fare on the Presidential Twitter feed.

• COURTEOUS - Trump literally shoved other world leaders out of the way so he could be in front at a photo call.

• KIND – Trump has ripped children from their families (Lied about it being an Obama policy) then housed them in cages and sought to deliberately punish asylum seekers. He has made cruelty official US Government policy

• OBEDIENT – The Hatch Act, the US Government records Act, Federal Election campaign finance laws, The Freedom of Information Act all routinely violated. In addition to multiple cases of alleged obstruction of justice.

• CHEERFUL - Cheer is something Trump engages in at the expense of others, be it a disabled reporter, or women of color serving in congress or disaster victims in Puerto Rico. For Trump ridicule of others is a staple.

• THRIFTY - He has exploded the national debt and the US budget deficit. With unpaid for tax cuts, and reckless spending on his own vanity. (The 4th of july "event" and his "Wall" to name just two.) He has spent more taxpayer money on GOLF trips in 2 years than the Obama Administration spent on ALL Presidential travel in 8 years.

• BRAVE – Cadet Bone Spurs lied to avoid service in Vietnam then mocked men who did serve. He is a coward.

• CLEAN – Trump may be a germaphobe but apparently that is not a deterrent against grabbing women by the pussy. He has been credibly accused by 19 women of sexual assault.

• REVERENT - Trump’s God is himself, He is a serial adulterer, who has multiple credible accusations of having paid for women to get abortions. He has stolen, he covets, he lies, so if the ten commandments are one of your political metrics? Then supporting Trump suggests either hypocrisy on a biblical scale, or total ignorance of what the scriptures actually say. 

It is not hatred of Donald Trump, Rather, it is horror at what he is doing and how he is doing it. You cannot still support Trump and use “I am an independent and I hate both parties” as an excuse. It’s like people in Kentucky who cheer the gutting of environmental laws because they have bought into the idea that letting an Aluminum factory ( a Russian financed Aluminum factory , but that is a whole other issue…) dump lead into their drinking water, is somehow “owning the Libs” When in reality it is just poisoning their kids     

If we use the Scout Law as our metric, the case is only too clear.    To support this President,is to be a willing participant in enabling  the worst in all of us,  The ungodly, the treasonous and the horrific, all because the imperfect annoys you. 

That isn't being an independent, It is being an enabler of all that stands in direct conflict with the values Scouting represents.

Wisconsin's Republican Rainbow Riot.

Meanwhile back in Wisconsin... (From the Associated Press) -

MADISON, Wis. — Flying a gay pride rainbow flag over the Wisconsin state Capitol for the first time Friday drew backlash from conservatives, including a pair of state lawmakers, who said it was divisive, while Democrats hailed it as a sign of inclusivity.

The flag flap erupted after Democratic Gov. Tony Evers ordered the raising of the flag to recognize June as “Pride Month.” The move drew a fast rebuke from state Rep. Scott Allen, who tweeted, “Is this any more appropriate than erecting the Christian flag over the Capitol?”

Allen, who describes himself on Twitter as “Child of God/Family Man,” said in a follow-up message to the Associated Press that the rainbow flag “advocates a behavior or lifestyle that some Wisconsin residents may not condone. Therefore, it is divisive.”

Really?   So the Nativity Scene in the WI Capitol Rotunda EVERY year , next to the massive Christmas Tree covered with CROSS shaped ornaments is what....? Just one more sign of just how "oppressed" the poor triggered members of Wisconsin Family Action, are?

It’s always interesting that “Conservative Christians” claim any form of recognition of the basic civil rights and human dignity of LGBT people is somehow “an attack” on them. But since none of the civil rights or societal benefits that these people enjoy are impacted by a Rainbow flag flying over a building; What opponents of equality are really saying is that giving LGBT Americans the same level of civic respect that they enjoy makes them mad.

It's not just that these people are upset that LGBT Americans have equal rights, they are upset that gays and lesbians have any rights at all. They see equal rights for anyone they don’t like as an attack on them. 

For years now , whenever the subject of LGBT equality comes up as part of our national discourse, We here these claims that it is“Divisive” and it is an "attack" on “religious liberty” So I decided to look up the word `attack' in the dictionary. The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines it as: 

Attack Pronunciation: &-'tak Function: verb 

1 : to set upon or work against forcefully 

2 : to assail with unfriendly or bitter words 

3 : to begin to affect or to act on injuriously 

4 : to set to work on 

5 : to threaten (a piece in chess) with immediate capture 

Hmmm… to set upon or work against forcefully huh? Ok, so if we take this argument seriously, for LGBT Americans to have EQUAL treatment as Irish Americans with the Irish Flag for St, Patrick’s day, or the Nativity Scene, Christmas Tree and Menorah in the Rotunda for the Holidays, or a State proclamation for Black history Month. For LGBT Wisconsinites to be given that SAME level of civic respect means Christians can't  practice their religion?   

Uh.. ok.. How exactly?

Does that rainbow flag mean that Rep. Scott Allen must now fly a rainbow flag over his house? His Church? Does it mean he can now be fired for being not Gay? Does it mean he can be denied Housing, Health Benefits or service from any business because he is a “Child of God/Family Man,” ? Does it mean he will need to limit his travel because other countries  will pass laws that say as a Heterosexual he is considered a threat to the state? Does that Rainbow Flag flying over the Capitol for 26 days mean that the life of Allen, or anyone like him has changed in any way? 

No of course not. 

The pride flag bothers Rep. Allen because a group he doesn’t like is being shown the SAME level of respect that he demands. Well, it turns out there is a word for someone who is irrationally fixed on the artificial preservation of inequality that they feel is in their favor. Merriam-Webster's dictionary defines it as:

Bigot:
Pronunciation- 'bi-g&t Function: noun 

Etymology: Middle French, hypocrite, bigot

1: a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices .