He who serves his fellows, is of all his fellows greatest….
This week has been one where I have “servant leadership” on the brain. Its a tricky topic in this day and age. Striking many as more than a little bit old fashioned. As I sit here in Manchester England (I am here on a two day business trip, I’ll head back to London later today...) On the other side of the world at Michigan State University, over 15,000 members of the Boy Scouts of America, who are members of an honor society known as the Order of the Arrow have gathered to celebrate the organization’s centennial at their National Conference (NOAC).
Back in 1915 two men, Dr. E. Urner Goodman, and Col. Carrol A. Edson were running a Summer Camp for Boy Scouts at Treasure Island, just outside of Philadelphia Pennsylvania . As the Summer progressed, they wanted to come up with a way to recognize young men who exemplified the idea of “cheerful service”, of going above and beyond the norm of what was expected in being both an example to, and a servant –leader of their fellow campers.
Moreover, they wanted to make that recognition something special. Something that would be both and meaningful and forward facing. Meaning, it would both recognize and motivate those who were honoured, to dedicate themselves all the more to the idea of serving others. To achieve this, the two men drew heavily on their Masonic background to create and induction process that would embody and emphasize the core principles of this new honor society; Brotherhood, Cheerfulness and Service.
Additionally, they decided that the decision of choosing who would receive the honor of membership in this new group would be made by non-members. Election to the Order would be something bestowed on you by your peers, not something you campaigned for. 100 years later, The Order of the Arrow has grown from a creative idea to recognize and inspire campers and staff at one Summer camp, into American Boy Scouting’s national honor society with over 180,000 current active members and hundreds of thousands of alumni spanning the globe. The OA counts among its ranks, Presidents, members of Congress, Astronauts, CEO’s Generals, Admirals, Cabinet members and Hollywood icons.
Consequently , the OA has often been regarded (as many fraternal organizations are..) as some sort of “secret society”. While untrue, the assumption is understandable. To ensure that new members going through their induction in the future do not have their experience lessened or spoiled, some aspects are safeguarded as confidential. This Allows the Order of the Arrow, to utilizes mystery as a tool in its induction process. Yet the OA will never withhold information from any person legitimately interested in investigating its nature, purpose, or methods of the organization.
The mission and focus of the Order of the Arrow has grown over the past century and includes areas such as environmental responsibility, promoting the protection, sustainable use and conservation of the outdoor camping environments in which the Order was founded. The ArrowCorps Program provides hundreds of volunteer hours annually. Yet the Order's core purpose is and has always been, this idea of servant leadership. Or “Cheerful Service” to others.
Programs to achieve this include the aforementioned National Order of the Arrow Conference (NOAC), held every two years and happening this week at Michigan State University.
Also, the OA regularly runs National Leadership Seminars (NLS). A two day conference focused on the skills and attributes of leadership. The program enhances the leadership skills of the members as they seek to improve their services to the Boy Scouts of America and the greater communities in which they live.
The NLS complements other week-long, more detailed leadership programs for both youth and adults in Scouting. The NLS prepares members to become better leaders both within and outside of Scouting program. It is an outcome I can attest to, first hand. From 1987 to 1992 I taught sessions as part of the staff of more than 20 National Leadership Seminars at both the Regional and National level .
It is not an overstatement to say, my experiences in Scouting, but more specifically in the Order of Arrow, are largely responsible for my more than twenty year career in organizational learning and leadership development, that has spanned the US, Europe and Asia.
There is not a day when I am not able to apply the principles instilled me as a member of the Order of the Arrow in both my personal and professional life. My experiences as an “Arrowman” both influenced and informed key choices I have made, and have also given me some of the greatest friendships I have in my life.
So to my friends, and fellow “Brothers” (and more than one Sister as well... ) in the Order of the Arrow, happy 100th birthday. Here’s to the next century of service, friendship and fellowship.
I have watched the current unfolding collective melt down on the American social and political Right, with a mixture of amusement and disgust. The Republican Party, and along with it, the broader conservative movement in the United States; faced with a reality that doesn’t even remotely support their talking points, has instead, opted to wallow in delusion.
After years of using the idea of LGBT civil rights as an effective wedge issue, the American Right Wing just can’t bear the idea that those days are over. Unable to accept the reality of a generational shift on civil rights issues; they instead opt to stamp their feet and regurgitate the same nonsensical arguments that bigots in the 1960's spewed against interracial marriage. Declaring that clearly, legalized polygamy and bestiality are coming next. A bit of "reasoning" by which you could say that freedom of the religion in the US will lead to inquisitions, witch burnings and Sharia Law.
All while GOP Presidential contenders make ridiculous promises to amend the U.S. Constitution to strip civil rights from all those icky Gay people they have been telling their base for decades, they are supposed to hate. An amendment that will never happen but again, for American Conservatives the delusion is so much more comforting than facing reality.
After decades of completely ignoring the issue of Health Care disparity in the United States. Followed by desperate attempts to block, derail, overturn then just flat out demonize the Affordable Care Act; The American Right has opted to just pretend the facts don’t exist. To sit in the bubble of Fox News and the right-wing blogosphere and parrot false talking points that the AFA is a “job killer” and millions of Americans have somehow lost health insurance .
The fact that the reality is exactly the opposite is too uncomfortable for conservatives to face. It is much more comforting for them to hear candidates make ridiculous promises to “repeal Obamacare on day one!”
The delusion that conservatives are “standing up for freedom” by trying to take health insurance away from millions of Americans, is more comforting than accepting the reality that the black man in the White House did something good.
Now in the face a historic agreement that blocks all possible pathways for Iran to develop a nuclear weapon, the American Right once again has opted to embrace delusion over facts. An alternate reality where all the world’s leading experts on nuclear technology and proliferation can’t possibly be more knowledgeable than Rush Limbaugh and the talking heads of Fox & Friends.
Where cheering a GOP candidate's delusional schoolboy threats to start another war in the middle east “on day one”, is more comforting than facing the reality that under this President, American diplomacy works.
The prevailing opinion here in Europe is that American Conservatives. WANT a war with Iran. Either purely for fun and profit (Hello KBR and United Defence,... shall we all take a look at who your major stockholders are again? ). Or because they are still angry at Jimmy Carter for being a big peacenik hippie and denying them a war with Iran back in 1979.
Or because American evangelical conservatives think if we can just start a big enough war in the Middle East, it will bring Jeebus back and they'll all get raptured to some big all inclusive resort in the sky.
I used to try to counter the alternate fact free reality of American Conservatives. Recently a couple of conservative friends of mine posted on Facebook a link claiming CA Senator Diane Feinstein “said” American Veterans were to blame for their own PTSD. I responded , posting a link to fact checking site debunking the false story,
I then went on to point out that in the latest congressional scorecard from Disabled Veterans of America, (rating members of the House and Senate on their support of veterans issues;) Feinstein scored 100% and their Senator (WI Republican Ron Johnson) had scored 0%. The response from one of them was a curt “thanks for the information”, yet he kept the link to the false story posted, and then promptly "unfriended" me from his Facebook profile. I guess facts that don’t support right wing talking points are too uncomfortable to face.
Instead we have a delusion-based parallel universe where Donald Trump is the front runner for the Republican Presidential nomination. Where republicans who attacked Senator John Kerry’s heroic service in Vietnam, are shocked when Trump does the exact same thing to Senator John McCain. Where a former half-term Governor of Alaska, who claimed she could see Russia from her house, is treated by Fox News as a more credible expert on foreign affairs than the former Secretary of State.
The American Conservative movement now lives in a state of near permanent denial; where a man born in Hawaii can’t possibly be a real American, where reducing the deficit by nearly half, is claimed to be “tripling the deficit” Where spending two thirds less time on vacation than your predecessor makes you “the golfing President”. Where seven straight years of private sector job growth, is an example of having “wrecked the economy”. The list goes on.. and on...
So like many Americans, I am done trying to have the conversation. So instead I’m opting to live in the real world. A world where my marriage doesn’t impact anyone else’s, where science has more weight than ideology, where the effective use of American diplomatic power is preferable to just staring yet another war in the Middle East, for fun and profit.
Thankfully, it's also a real world where I truly believe the overall majority of Americans live. As the Cirque d'Insanity of the 2016 election cycle gets underway, it is imperative that those of us who do live in the real world, call out the delusions on the Right.
That way we can make sure the only way any of the current occupants of the GOP Presidential Candidate clown car will ever see the inside of the White House, is by taking the pubic tour.
In the wake of Friday's historic US Supreme Court ruling, legalizing same sex marriage across all 50 states, the collective freak out on the social conservative right wing in the United States as been epic. If you want a great recap of the assorted wailing and gnashing of teeth, by all means head over to Joe Jervis' brilliant blog JoeMyGod, for a recap.
My favourite though, was the American Family Association's delightful spokes-bigot Bryan Fischer who managed to invoke the death of Buddy Holly, Pearl Harbor, and the Attacks of September 11th during his colossal twitter meltdown.
I get a real kick out of all the Attack on Marriage" rhetoric. Always when the subject of equal rights for gay and lesbian couples is part of our national discourse conservative evangelicals always claim it is an "attack" on marriage and the family. So I decided to look up the word `attack' in the dictionary. The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines it as:
Attack Pronunciation: &-'tak Function: verb Etymology: Middle French attaquer, from (assumed) transitive senses. 1 : to set upon or work against forcefully 2 : to assail with unfriendly or bitter words 3 : to begin to affect or to act on injuriously 4 : to set to work on 5 : to threaten (a piece in chess) with immediate capture intransitive senses : to make an attack 6: the act or action of setting upon with force or violence
Hmmm… to set upon or work against forcefully huh? Ok, so if we take the arguments being shrieked on the Right seriously, The SCOTUS running last Friday giving gay couples the same rights as straight couples, not more rights, not any new rights that straight couples do not currently have, but only the exact same rights, is going to injure, damage and potentially even destroy heterosexual marriages and families.
Wow. I guess I only have one question then. How? Does Marriage Equality marriage mean that straight couples have now lost any of the 1,100 federal benefits and protections that they had before last Friday? Does marriage equality now mean straight couples can’t file joint tax returns, have, adopt or raise children, pass on social security survivor benefits, or make medical decisions for each
other? Does the legalization of marriage for gays and lesbians mean that straight people can no longer marry each other and instead must get “SCOTUS Gay Married"? Does it mean those who are presently married must now get divorced?
In other words; Have the marriages or families of any heterosexual changed in any way as a result of last Friday’s court decision?
The answer is, no of course not. But when faced with these facts , the right wing nuto-sphere spews back three basic arguments. The first, is the claim that God says being gay is sinful because the bible say! So Gays want to destroy Christianity. So how does that square with the fact that so many LGBT activists ARE Christian?
Funny how people who say the United States should be theocracy where church rules the state are very selective in their piety. Gay Marriage? Hell No! But divorce? No problem. Yet the Bible says clearly that divorce should be a criminal offense. ( The fifty percent of heterosexual couples that avail themselves of divorce I am sure are thankful this is not the case.) Yet you never see Bryan Fischer or any of his ilk truly following the bible they love to so selectively cite . A fact brilliantly illustrated in a now famous scene from the TV series "The West Wing".
The second response was even more fun. An oldie but a goodie... Allowing gay marriage will now lead to polygamy, bestiality, pedophile marriages, and who knows what else. Yet civil marriage is and has only ever been about two and ONLY two consenting adults of no direct family relation. Find me the person who truly wants to marry their dog, and for that matter, find me a dog who is over 18 years old, can read and then sign a marriage application and can then say the words "I do". If Shaggy and Scoobie show up at the Vegas wedding chapel, then this argument might be worth taking seriously.
The third response to last Friday's ruling legalizing gay marriage is actually a bit more honest on their part. Conservative evangelicals say that gay marriage cheapens or lessens the value of the institution of marriage in the eyes of society. But since none of the marriage rights or benefits that straight couples enjoy have changed now that same sex couples are able to marry, what opponents of equality are really saying is that letting gay couples marry cheapens their straight marriages in their eyes. Letting gays and lesbians get married means they now have a right that until Friday, only heterosexuals had. And that makes them mad.
It's not just that these people are upset that LGBT Americans now have equal marriage rights, they are upset that gays and lesbians have any rights at all. They see equal rights for everyone as an attack on them.
That's interesting. Even though heterosexual marriage clearly has not changed in ANY way, some people firmly believes that marriage has now lost value, status and might even come to an end, because gay couples are now able to marry. It suddenly occurred to me there is another word for someone who is irrationally fixed on the artificial preservation of inequality that they feel is in their
favor. Merriam-Webster's dictionary has the same word for it.
Bigot Pronunciation: 'bi-g&t Function: noun Etymology: Middle French, hypocrite, bigot 1: a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices
This small group of even smaller minds, are angry about losing what they feel is superiority that is due them. They want to take their religious beliefs and codify them into civil law, then force them on the rest of us. The fact that the US Supreme Court said no, has caused many of them to lose their minds.
With those simple yet moving words, Justice Anthony Kennedy, writing for the 5 justice majority of the US Supreme Court, affirmed the idea that equal protection under the law, is not limited to some Americans. But rather, is true for all Americans.
I remember when I was a child, watching the movie The Sound of Music on television. When it would get to the scene late in the film where Maria and Captain Von Trapp get married in the grandeur of the Salzburg Cathedral; I always wondered why the nuns had to stay behind a locked iron gate in the back of the church, and were not allowed to attend the wedding with everybody else.
I remember asking my Mom at the time "What did the Nuns do wrong? Why are they in Jail?" Laughing, my Mother replied that Nuns were not allowed to get married, that they were "married to the church". At the time I really didn't understand the concept of being married to a church, but over the years that followed, I would come to understand all to well the idea of not being "able" to get married.
"...and they lived, happily ever after." Think of all the stories, plays, movies, songs, poems and even paintings, where that idea; Living happily ever after with the person you love, marrying the person you love, was exclusively the domain of boy meets girl. The coming out experience for LGBT people is as unique as each individual who goes through it. Yet there are some commonalities. One of the most common, is the moment when you looked at world around you, and became resigned to the idea of marrying the person you love and living happily ever after ...was not ever going to be in your future.
As someone who was Gay, I was convinced of this. I thought, I may as well just hang out with Nuns locked behind the iron gates. Marriage, was not something I would ever be allowed to share. Or so I thought... Now years later, I can say that there is incredible joy in being proved so completely wrong.
In a week when I recently wrote a blog asking "What is wrong with America?". Today we see what is so completely right with America. E Pluribus Unum. Out of Many, One. The idea that America is never finished. We are always and forever a work in progress. Far more potential than presently realised. Forever expanding the idea that we all created equal, endowed by our creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
That is what the United States Supreme Court did today. Defended and expanded that Jeffersonian ideal, that. American ideal. That my love, is as valid is yours. That the life that my husband and I build together, is as valid and worthy of affirmation as yours. That our family is as part of the fabric of America as yours. My country, that on September 21, 1996 passed the odious "Defence of Marriage Act", a law that fifteen years later, would force me to leave my country and move the UK just to be with my spouse; Today, on June 26, 2015, that same country finally stepped out of that shadow and on to the right side of history.
To those who decry this progress and are filling the airwaves and internet with bile and vitriol, to you I say, I am sorry. Sorry that you have so little faith in the country you so loudly say that you love. Sorry that you see freedom and equality as zero sum propositions.
But mostly I am sorry you have so completely failed to understand both the nation in which you live, and religious faith you claim to profess. Today is a very GOOD day for America, and this weekend in cities all over the world, there will be one amazing party. I am sorry you are too afraid to step out of those shadows and join us in celebrating what truly is a victory for all Americans.
There will plenty of time in the weeks to come to analyse and debate the events of today and what it means for the United States, but for now, even here in London we will celebrate this latest chapter in the American story.
Happy Pride Weekend everyone, and God Bless America.
I met a good friend of mine for coffee yesterday in Central London. She is also an American who married a Brit, and has lived here for nearly two decades. As we were catching up on the details of each other's lives, families etc; the subject of moving back to the United States, came up.
I moved here to the UK, because at the time of our wedding, it was not possible for me to sponsor Eric to move to the US. This was due to legalized discrimination against same sex couples through the Defence of Marriage Act (DOMA). I have blogged extensively over the years detailing how DOMA has impacted our lives, if you want a refresher you can read some it here.
But with Supreme Court ruling in the Windsor case, the court over turned the provision of DOMA that barred federal recognition of our marriage, clearing the way for me to sponsor Eric for immigration to the United States, just as he had sponsored my immigration to the United Kingdom. Thus prompting the occasional question about returning to the United States.
Eric and I have always had the assumption that one day we will move back to the US. With all of my family, and some of his there, it just seemed like a logical eventuality. So consequently when horrific mass shootings like the one this week at an African American Church in Charleston, South Carolina, happen in America, I struggle to answer the question my husband invariably asks me as we watch the news...
"What is wrong with America...?"
Each time I honestly struggle to answer that question. You see, my husband is a very intelligent and sensible person, so when he reads the full text of the 2nd Amendment to the United States Constitution, like anyone who can read and comprehend written words, he fails to see how a "well regulated militia" means anyone can have any kind of gun and as many guns as they want. He also fails to understand Americans who don't decry the shootings, but instead, froth at the mouth with nonsensical ravings in response to ANY attempt to address the KEY ISSUE that helps facilitate these horrific crimes; the American FETISH with guns.
I think part of this stems from the fact that we live in the United Kingdom, a nation that doesn't have these kinds of mass shootings. Crimes that in America are now commonplace. A fact that was not lost on President Obama when he spoke yesterday.
Almost immediately on the American Cultural right-wing, came the shrill hysterical cries of "Obama is coming for your Guns!!" And right wing nut jobs like Alex Jones, claiming that this shooting may have been actually planned and carried out BY the Obama Administration as a "false flag attack " to use as pretext for declaring martial law , and "taking everyone's guns away" Why? To disarm white people for the coming "socialist race war" .. Oh of course, why else?
If you can stomach 7 seconds of racist, paranoid delusional hate, feel free to watch Alex Jones in action, yesterday.
So when I get asked by rational intelligent people , "What is wrong with America...?" I honestly don't know what to say. But I do know what I don't want to hear...
I don't want to hear or read comments on how this tragedy would have been averted if the parishioners at the Charleston A.M.E. church had been carrying guns, so don't write them, I won't post them. I don't want to read mindless pap that says "guns don't kill, people do", because only an idiot can't see how having such easy access to the gun in the first place helps make horrors like this possible. So don't bother writing it. I won't post it
If you say you believe that more guns are the answer , you are wrong, and you know it, you just are not honest enough to admit it.
I don't want to hear perverse misinterpretations of the 2nd Amendment . Spare me the Alex Jones/Fox News/Matt Drudge BS that stricter controls on guns wouldn't have helped prevent this. When in 2014, the total number of Gun related deaths (accidental and otherwise,) in the UK was 58, and in the US it is was over 10,000, regurgitated NRA propaganda just makes whoever is spewing it look heartless and stupid. So spare yourselves the embarrassment , and turn your computer off and for now, just be quiet.
One of the commonalities of the expatriate experience is you often find yourself defending your home country in casual conversation. Yet lately I have had to admit that were we to move back to the US, and I don't mean to Chicago, or San Francisco. I mean even if we were to move to Madison, Wisconsin, (population : 233,209) the beautiful city where I was born, and grew up; The likelihood of one of us being a victim of gun related violence, is nearly ten times greater than it is living in here London, a city of over 8 million people.
I love my country. I am proud to say that I am an American. I have travelled, lived and worked in may other places around the world, In Europe and Asia. Yet there is no other nation I would have wanted to be born a citizen of. I truly believe the greatness of the United States is, and will always be our diversity. E Pluribus Unum... Out of many, One.
Yet the fact remains. There IS something very wrong with America. When these horrific crimes of mass murder are somehow accepted as the price America has to pay for our "right to bear arms", then clearly that right has been perverted and twisted into something the founding fathers never intended. America suffers from an illness, an addiction to guns that kills thousands of our fellow Americans every year. An addiction that kills more Americans than Al Qaida, ISISL or any other terrorist group.
Until we as a nation can honestly come to terms with that fact, the death toll will only continue to climb.
Rather than try to explain the joyous gift to comedians everywhere, that the Republican Party unwrapped yesterday... I'll just let Jon Stewart take it from here...
There is a God of Comedy, and he LOVES Jon Stewart!
June is LGBT Pride month in many cities around the world. So as the rainbow flags fly along Market Street in downtown San Francisco, on the Social Conservative Right wing, something else springs up as well. The annual debate on why are Gay Pride celebrations acceptable but. "Straight Pride" celebrations are not.
This year in particular we are seeing some remarkable reactions to the recent advances in LGBT civil rights, especially in the United States. But certainly the US is not alone in having its share of folks who are convinced that equal rights for people they don't like is somehow an attack on them. An Australian couple are so upset at the idea of possible marriage equality for Gays Lesbians that they have publicly threatened to divorce should same sex marriage become legal down under. (hat tip to joemygod..)
Nick Jensen, who posed with his wife Sarah on the cover of the latest issue of Canberra CityNews, writes of the Christian couple’s decision to end their marriage under the headline, “Gay law change may force us to divorce”.
"My wife and I just celebrated our 10-year anniversary. But later this year, we may be getting a divorce. The decision to divorce is not one we’ve taken lightly. And certainly, it’s not one that many will readily understand. And that’s because it’s not a traditional divorce. Our view is that marriage is a fundamental order of creation. Part of God’s human history. Marriage is the union of a man and a woman before a community in the sight of God. And marriage of any couple is important to God regardless of whether that couple recognises God’s involvement or authority in it."
- Nick Jansen, writing for Canberra's City News. Jansen adds that he and his future ex-wife will continue to live together.
It's very easy to laugh at wackjobs like the Jansens, or the various American Talabangelicals who are shrieking hysterically how an anticipated US Supreme Court ruling on Same Sex marriage will result in nothing less than some sort of Gay, Nazi... apocalypse.
Setting aside the fact that allowing same sex couples the same legal rights as opposite sex couples doesn't impact Bryan Fischer's life in any way. Fischer and his assorted ilk in the social conservative wingnutosphere are doing all they can to flog the talking point that giving equal rights to Gay people is somehow taking rights away from them.
Which brings us back to annual debate over the merits of LGBT Pride celebrations. It's a debate that rages both inside and outside the broader LGBTQ-XYZ123-whatever-else-you-want-to-add-on... community. Inside the community the question always gets asked ; does some of the imagery of Pride celebrations hurt the cause of equal rights? In addition, this year in the wake of significant legal victories for LGBT rights, especially around an expected SCOTUS ruling legalizing Marriage Equality for the whole US; Some are asking do we even need pride celebrations anymore?
While on the other side of the debate , critics and opponents love to point to that same imagery as evidence of Gay folks wanting "special rights", and then pull out their favorite chestnut, of asking why are Gay Pride Celebrations acceptable but Straight Pride celebrations are not? The debate is also in full swing on social media. With some people adopting a straight "pride logo" as a response to rainbow flag or red and white equal signs.
Seriously?? It's like asking why isn't there a "White History Month". It's always interesting to see people who have never faced discrimination based on their sexual orientation, claim any sort of recognition of the dignity of people who have faced that discrimination , is somehow an attack on them.
I think a fundamental question here is what is the actual purpose of Gay Pride celebrations in 2015? Is it "celebrating" being LGBT? Is it (as it was originally), a protest to fight bigotry and discrimination? Or is it a bit of both? In truth, Pride celebrations are more than all that. They are a message. Sent to those who are not actually there attending those celebrations.
I remember the first Pride event I ever attended. It was Chicago's pride parade in 1998. I had recently moved to Chicago, and had not yet had the "coming out talk" with my own family. I lived on the North side of in the city in the Lakeview neighbourhood. An area known as "Boystown". As it was centre of Chicago's LGBT Community.
My reasons for attending the parade that day were not to "celebrate" the fact that I was a Gay man, who finally had come to terms with my own sexuality; But rather to do for someone else what Pride participants years past had done for me. Send a clear and very public message that being who you are is ok, and there really was life outside the "closet."
The truth is, Pride celebrations are not for the people who attend them. Instead they are for the people who cannot attend them. Growing up as a Gay kid in a small town in South Central Wisconsin, there were times when I was convinced I was the only gay person on Earth. The constant message from popular culture, religion, family and peer groups was "boy meets girl, they fall in love, get married (or not) and have kids (or not) and live happily ever after". There was no happily ever after for someone who felt what I was feeling.
Then, in June, I would turn on the TV News and see thousands of people... just like me, in places like New York, San Francisco and Chicago saying "No, that's not true, you are not alone, and there is a big wide world out here beyond Sun Prairie Wisconsin. So hang in there .... we're here and we're waiting for you!"
So "straight pride" isn't bigoted, it's just silly. No straight kid growing up was told that being heterosexual was evil, or that God was going to send them to hell, for wanting to be happy and fall in love. Growing up, how many books, songs, television programs, and movies did you see that featured straight couples meeting, falling in love and living happily ever after? Pretty much all of them. Ask someone who is Gay and was born before say... 1990, how many positive images in popular culture they had growing up that affirmed who they are? The answer is, none, or at best few, if any at all.
To my Straight friends, I have to ask, how many times have "respected" public figures, politicians, pundits and clergy gone on national television demanding that everyone be given the chance to VOTE on your civil rights? How often has someone told you that not being able to discriminate against you was somehow an attack on them? When was the last time you heard a member of the Supreme Court saying that simply by being allowed to exist, you were "an attack" on the moral fibre of America?
Anyone?? Yeah...I didn't think so... I have a flash of the obvious for you, every month is "Straight Pride Month."Saying LGBT people are human too, isn't an attack on straight people.
My straight friends never needed to be told that being straight was okay, and that they were okay because nobody ever told them they weren't. Pride isn't about celebrating being Gay, it's about publicly showing that being LGBT is just as much a part of the human experience as being straight is. I for one would love to see the day when Pride is obsolete. When that scared closeted kid, doesn't need to be told that he or she is fine just the way they are.
But until that day comes, my husband and I will be adding our voices to the joyous mob in places like Market Street in San Francisco, Oxford Street and Trafalgar Square here in London, Halsted Street in Chicago and Fifth Avenue in New York City. If for no other reason to let that kid know, it really does get better. There is a world where "boy meets boy" and "girl meets girl", where they fall in love and (if they want to) get married, and yes, even live happily ever after...
Robert M. Gates, the president of the Boy Scouts of America and former secretary of defense, called on Thursday to end the Scouts’ ban on gay adult leaders, warning the group’s executives that “we must deal with the world as it is, not as we might wish it to be.”
Speaking at the Boy Scouts’ annual national meeting in Atlanta, Mr. Gates said cascading events — including potential employment discrimination lawsuits and the impending Supreme Court decision on same-sex marriage, as well as mounting internal dissent over the exclusionary policy — had led him to conclude that the current rules “cannot be sustained.”
If the Boy Scouts do not change on their own, he said, the courts are likely to force them to, and “we must all understand that this will probably happen sooner rather than later.”. In a nod to the religious organizations that sponsor a majority of local Scout troops, he said they should remain free to set their own guidelines for leaders. “I support a policy that accepts and respects our different perspectives and beliefs,” he said, adding, “I truly fear that any other alternative will be the end of us as a national movement.”
Conservative religious groups that sponsor many Scout troops, including the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the Roman Catholic Church and some evangelical churches, opposed the participation of openly gay members, while local leaders in more liberal regions have called for an end to discrimination.
A Scout group in New York has defied the rules by employing an openly gay 18-year-old as a camp counselor, and several other councils around the country have expressed opposition to the ban.
Mr. Gates said Thursday, in prepared remarks released by the Boy Scouts, that the national leadership would take no action against defiant local councils.
At the same time, he said that in the name of religious freedom, the Scouts should allow local sponsoring organizations “to determine the standards for their Scout leaders.”
The Mormon church issued a guarded statement Thursday: “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints will, of course, examine any such changes very carefully to assess how they might impact our own century-long association with the B.S.A.” If the Scouts’ executive board adopts the policy Mr. Gates has recommended, letting local groups set their own leadership rules, the church is not likely to be affected. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well this should come as a surprise... to nobody.
This sort of "compromise" was pretty much inevitable, because of the chaos the bizarre youth policy change created in 2013. Where a 17 year old gay scout was fine but the day that kid turns 18 he suddenly is a threat to Scouting and must be banned.
This was starting to create serious issues around Summer Camp Staffing. Where you have a Camp staffer who works as a volunteer counsellor when he is 15, then gets a paid position on staff as a 16 and 17 year old. Suddenly this experienced employee who is a tremendous asset to your program has to be banned because he is now 18 years old.
Interestingly enough the camp staff issue may turn out to have been a key driver in this. The BSA was about to start running afoul of employment discrimination laws in multiple states. Cases they knew they would have a very hard time winning should they end up in court.
Also. The issue was a huge problem for some organizations within Scouting. The Order of the Arrow and Sea Scouts both considered a "Youth" to be someone under the age of 21. Which suddenly was in conflict with the overall membership standards. The whole attempt to avoid dealing with the larger issue by changing the policy on Youth just created a bigger administrative mess.
A "live and let discriminate" compromise was inevitable. Where membership standards can be decided at the local level by sponsoring organizations. Where scouting units sponsored by the Mormon and Catholic Churches can still cling to their homophobia, while more progressive organizations can take an inclusive approach. This keeps the BSA intact. The reality is, if the LDS or Catholic churches pulled their support for Scouting, the BSA would cease to exist. This sort of compromise, imperfect as it may seem. May be the best option at this point.
As news of Gate's speech in Atlanta yesterday began to be widely reported, my phone started to buzz with emails and text messages from old friends, who all were asking the question; Should those of us who left scouting rather than lie about who we are (and in many cases who we are married to...). Re-Register if we live in areas where the local council is inclined to be more inclusive? I think the answer is No, or at least, not yet.
At the1992
National Order of the Arrow
Conference
Scouting's discrimination has been incredibly painful to many of us who gave decades of our lives to the program, and value it tremendously. So it is very tempting to seize this development as a pathway back to being able to give of our time and talents to an organization we dearly love. Yet this issue is far from resolved.
The. BSA National Executive Board had no plans to take up the membership standards issue this year. Now that was before Robert Gates went ahead and put the issue front and center. So this summer may see more developments on this .
So at the end of the day, yes this IS good news and cause for "Cautious Optimism". But. It's too soon to claim a victory for equality just yet.
"Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? "So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit..."
A married Michigan reverend with five children who publicly came out against homosexuality has resigned from his associate pastor job after his profile on the gay hook-up app Grindr was exposed.
Reverend Matthew Makela of Midland worked at St John's Lutheran Church where he was called a man who enjoyed 'family, music, home improvement, gardening and landscaping, and sports'. During his time at the church, Makela reportedly made negative statements about the gay and transgender communities and once compared homosexuality to alcoholism.
In a comment that has since been removed from a Midlands Daily News story, Makela wrote: 'I love people who have same sex attraction, and so does God. The proof is in the sacrifice He made for all of us who sin... We don’t tell a person born with tendencies to abuse alcohol to keep on giving in to hisinnate desires because he can’t help it. 'We try to help him in his struggle.'
He also made unkind comments about gay and transgender people on his Facebook page, according to Queerty. Screenshots obtained by the site reveal Makela called himself a 'top' who loved 'make out naked and cuddle' as well as 'oral and massage'. He confirmed the Grindr profile was real, according to Queerty. When word of the profile reached church officials, Makela decided to step down.
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There is nothing good to be found in any of this. There is no silver lining in this story. The sad self hating homophobia and hypocrisy of Reverend Matthew Makela was the inevitable outcome of a trajectory in life that Matthew was set on long ago. It is the result of trying to live a double life, half in, half out of the closet. A closet constructed in no small part by the rabid obsession with all things Gay that runs rampant thought the. Lutheran Church Missouri Synod. (LCMS)
I am sure there was a point in Makela's life when this could have been avoided, It would have been a road not taken. A moment when he could have been told that as scary as self acceptance is, it does get better. A moment that a faith community which truly followed the teachings of Christ, could have made real. Instead, from the earliest age, Matthew Makela, along with so many others like him, was bombarded with messages from the LCMS of how he needed to hate ... himself.
Messages from the both the pulpits and classrooms of the LCMS of how Gays are "attacking" the church and family. Near constant rants against welcoming and affirming churches and how God will (at some point) destroy those churches for daring to say that God loves everyone.
Sadly the story of Matthew Makela is not new. He is just the latest chapter in the LCMS's long story of damaged self hating closet cases.
I am not saying that any of this can excuse Matthew Makela for his actions and choices, and let's be clear they were his own conscious choices. Decisions that have destroyed not only his life, but that of his wife and children as well. As easy as it is to dismiss that destruction, as just another hypocrite getting what he deserves, there is more here to be pitied than scorned. The fact is, the road to those choices was paved in no small way, long ago with the messages of self-hatred and fear that were pummelled into him from childhood on, by the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod.
The great Stephen Fry has often remarked how the obsession with sex, all too common among many of the publicly self-righteous, is similar to those with unhealthy relationships with food. The only people who are truly obsessed with food are the anorexic and the morbidly obese. This in sexual terms describes the LCMS, to its core.
The Lutheran Church Missouri Synod suffers from a institutional obsession with homosexuality that, trumps all else, even the message of the Gospels.
It is an obsession that continues to claim victims. Be it with the deaths of gay kids driven to suicide, or adults like Matthew Makela, driven to try live double lives of desperate hypocrisy.
This whole sad and sordid outcome is in no small part, the. LCMS reaping what it has so enthusiastically sown.
This past weekend was a Bank Holiday here in the UK , so we had a long weekend to enjoy the on-again, off-again sunshine.
We had the great honor and privilege to attend the wedding of two incredibly dear friends of ours. Peter and Simon have been together for over twelve years, and on Friday they tied the knot and got married. The celebration that followed I have jokingly referred to as their “big fat communist wedding” as dozens of the their friends all contributed to help throw what on Saturday evening, turned out to be an epically awesome party.
Today is the UK General Election, The election campaign here has been very sedate compared to what passes for normal in the US. It's safe to say compared to the current hype in the US over the 2016 Presidential race, the UK election seems comatose by comparison. I did have to hand it to Sky News, they came up the best TV ad in the election run up.
The conversation at the wedding party last weekend, occasionally turned to politics. A number of people knowing that I am American and therefore cannot vote today here in the UK, asked me who I would be supporting next year, in the 2016 US Presidential contest. Friends of mine here on this side of the Atlantic, ( including my husband), have often asked me why do I still care about American Politics?
After all, the eight years of insanity the world endured during the Bush-Cheney Administration were far worse for Americans than it was for Europeans. If next year the American electorate is stupid enough to vote against their own best interests and elect any of the current or potential GOP Clown car occupants, then let them. If Americans are truly gullible enough to swallow the steaming pile of BS that the GOP is going to serve up to protect the interests of the top one-tenth of one percent, all at the expense of everyone else, Well then, Americans deserve everything they get.
Other wedding guests, chimed in, pointing out that while the United States engages in an all out cultural civil war over the idea that the Bill of Rights, actually applies to all Americans; Here in the United Kingdom, same sex couples like Peter and Simon, and Eric and I enjoy all the same rights as everyone else. Rights that have actually increased over the past year, as Britain's conservative government pushed ahead with the expansion of Civil Unions, into full and equal Marriage.
The GOP has made it clear they want to mortgage the lives of vast majority of the American people by turning the American health care system back into economic Darwinism - Survival of the Richest. While the rest of the world expands the boundaries of medical science and harness the potential of stem cell research, at the same time, addressing the issue of Abortion by dealing with the causes of it, rather than simply attacking women. Bush, Walker, Cruz, Huckabee, etc. will turn back the clock for American Women to the 19th Century.
Meanwhile, here in the United Kingdom, the National Health Service will go along just fine, side by side, with sensibly regulated private insurance providers, (Yes that's right Fox News dimwits. The UK has both), All ensuring that in when it comes to average life expectancy of a child born in 2015, the UK will continue to climb from its current rank of 13th in the world, while the best the United States will be able to hope for is not to slip too far down from its current ranking of 38th.
So why bother? Knowing what America, under a Republican Presidency would become; A rabid right wing home-schooled theocracy, where what is left of government, serves the needs of only the wealthiest of the wealthy. A nation of Tea Party idiots, who will wave the Constitution like a banner, but have never read it., nor understand it. American Talibangelicals, who scream hysterically about the threat of "Sharia Law", but want to impose their own fundamentalist extremist beliefs on everyone else.
Should my fellow Americans be so stupid as to forget the consequences of their choices in 2000 and 2004 2010, and 2014, rest assured Europe and Asia won't be following the U.S. off the cliffs of economic, social and cultural insanity that Jeb Bush, Scott Walker or Ted Cruz would go hurtling off at full speed.
While the United Kingdom and the rest of Western Europe, and Asia moves on to harness renewable energy and tackle the challenges of climate change, across the Atlantic, Sarah Palin, Ben Carson and Donald Trump want to hand over America's National Parks to Oil Companies, Timber Companies and Mining Corporations.
While students here train for the jobs and challenges of tomorrow, look for the GOP to eliminate science from public schools. As the likes of Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee demand that American students are only taught that the Earth is 6,000 years old, and the human race began with two fully formed people, who rode around a garden on dinosaurs, chatting it up with talking snakes. Climate Change is liberal conspiracy, and taxing the poor and middle class, all to bankroll the greed and privilege of the top one percent, is a magical path to prosperity for all.
So why should I care? After all, there is no point in trying to reason with American Conservatives . Reason involves facts and reality. Two things the American Conservatives have learned to be quite comfortable living without.
My friends smile warmly and assure me that the rest of the World will, for a little while, feel bad about America's demise. But soon, everyone will get over it, quite content to move on without the United States. China, Russia, India, and many others will smile and applaud, as the GOP completely destroys what is left of the American Manufacturing sector.
Mexico, Japan and South Korea will quietly cheer as the talking heads on FOX News gleefully report on Scott Walker’s great achievement of the end of the rights of unionised workers. While at the same time, insisting that multi million dollar bonuses (at middle class taxpayer expense) for Wall Street executives are necessary to "keep America's Job Creators strong."
Why, one person asked, did I feel that I have to do my part to try to reason with people who rather than just come out and admit they just couldn't accept the fact the President of the United States was Black; instead have spent the last 8 years in a rabid rant and rave about a coming "UN Invasion" as Barack Obama's UN Storm troopers are going to come "for your guns".
Many of my friends both in Europe and Asia ask me; Why not leave the United States to the racist, homophobic misogynistic theo-facist nutjobs who believe it should be easier to buy an automatic weapon than it is to vote? Why not just let America go the way of the dinosaur, After all, the rest of the world will smile and thank the GOP for all they have done to eliminate their competition
Why not indeed.... I guess for me, the problem is unlike Sean Hanity and the scared gullible bigots that hang on his every twitter posting, I really do believe that the greatness of the United States lies in our diversity. "E Pluribus Unum" - Out of Many , One. At the end of the day, I may live in Great Britain, and I may be married to Brit, and yes I may even occasionally eat baked beans on toast for breakfast. But I am an American and yes I care what happens in 2016.
I care, because I love my country and believe that even when we fail miserably to live up to our stated ideals, the United States of America remains far more potential than we have ever been actualized.
The GOP says they "want their country back". The vision of America they hold as "their country" is one where an ultra-conservative religious social agenda is made into Civil Law. Women's Rights to control their own bodies, Affirmative Action, Gay and Lesbian Rights, Separation of (their) Church and State, the social safety nets of Medicare/ Social Security and Public Education are all abolished.
I care because the Republican Party has lost its mind, and sold its soul.
For the good of America, for the good of the rest of the world, the progress America has made over the past eight years under President Obama and the Democratic Party, needs to continue. The current crop of Republican Presidential hopefuls has made one thing painfully clear; the GOP is addicted to crazy, and like many addicts, the only way they will ever kick their destructive habit, is to finally hit rock bottom.
American Presidential Elections are always rife with superlatives. Sweeping statements of how THIS next election will be the most important in our lifetime. How the choice Americans will make in November, 2016 will be a pebble thrown in the pond of history, the ripples from which, will be felt for generations to come...etc..etc.
Oddly enough, this time. It's the truth. The United States is at a cultural and economic crossroads. Will we all move forward together, or will we sacrifice the future of the many, to subsidise the very few? Will the United States of America continue to more towards the future, or stumble backwards to a fearful, small minded past where the American Dream exists only for a select few?
I care because I want America to keep moving forward.
Back in 1915 two men, Dr. E. Urner Goodman, and Col. Carrol A. Edson were running a Summer Camp for Boy Scouts at Treasure Island, just outside of Philadelphia Pennsylvania . As the Summer progressed, they wanted to come up with a way to recognize young men who exemplified the idea of “cheerful service”, of going above and beyond the norm of what was expected in being both an example to, and a servant –leader of their fellow campers. 
