As the Triduum Begins...

The Triduum most often refers to the Paschal Triduum (also known as the Holy Triduum or Easter Triduum), the final three days of Lent and Holy Week and thus the last three days before Easter Sunday.

The Paschal Triduum begins with the Mass of the Lord's Supper on the evening of Holy Thursday and continues until the start of the Easter Vigil on the evening of Holy Saturday.

Funny Odd Book Review - "The Next"

(From the Book jacket...)

He never thought he'd become one of the agoraphobic sludges of New York City – trapped with one view of a courtyard and head full of wrenching memories. 

Dumped, disconnected, and depressed, spying on the neighbors has become his only entertainment. Then, without warning, lascivious and suspicious behavior by the closeted lawyer in the huge apartment across the courtyard leads him to a spine-tingling conclusion…his neighbor is a murderer.

Perhaps collaborating with Detective Marzoli to catch the killer is the key to surviving a past and present that are literally strangling him to death? Perhaps this beautiful, fierce detective can bring life back to his life?

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In recent years there has been something of a renaissance in LGBT fiction. A natural progression in many ways. Gay characters have been cleverly part of the written word for centuries. Yet when turning books into movies Hollywood famously "de-gayed" many of these stories to make it past the censors. Stories like Spartacus, From Here to Eternity and yes, even Harry Potter all had gay characters that never made the leap from page to screen.

Yet it was on the written page that many young Gays and Lesbians first got a tantalizing glimpse of a world, outside the fear and dread of being in the closet. 

I remember as a scared closeted college freshman, "casually" browsing at  my university library, in the "special collections" section. There I found a dust-covered copy of Gordon Merrick's gay romance novel "The Lord Won't Mind". Now, years later that particular book seems endearingly tawdry, like one of those schlocky romance novels with Fabio modeling on the cover.  

Yet at the time, just  finding a story where "Boy Meets Boy", was something of a revelation. Reading it felt incredibly risky, subversive even. But  more than that, it showed a world where Gay people existed, and in spite of the risks, and dangers of   living authentically, there was such a thing as a "happily ever after", for people like me.

Now years later,  the social progress we have seen over the past decade, has prompted a new generation of writers to take a look at life, and fiction from a  Gay-inclusive perspective. A lot of recent works have frankly been hit and miss. Yet in giving the premise of Alfred Hitchcock's "Rear Window" an updated treatment, New York author  Rafe Haze,  hits the mark.

I will be honest and admit I get bored with most Murder novels. Usually the hero is unbelievable,  and the murderer so transparent,  that I just want to turn to the last page and say arrest him or shoot him already!  With  "The Next", Haze has crafted a intricate patchwork of very believable characters. Giving us a front row seat,   as the protagonist watches the lives of his neighbors through the windows across the courtyard from his apartment.  

Haze wisely avoids getting bogged down in too much detail here. Giving us just enough of a glimpse of each neighbor,  to set the scene.    So when the murder does come, it is unexpected, and consequently far more interesting. The story moves effortlessly back and forth from rural childhood flashbacks, to modern day Manhattan. What I really enjoyed was how the book doesn't go in for "gotcha" moments. Rather, the tension builds like  a kettle on ever increasing heat. Leading up to confrontations that literally had me on the edge of my seat.

I love Hitchcock's rear window, whenever I am in New York walking on the street I often look up at the windows of apartment buildings and think that each lighted square is a story, and wonder what that story might be.

"The Next"   takes us on that journey,  but lets us imagine it without the cliche'd Hollywood romance. The love story here isn't shoehorned into the plot, it develops quite naturally, unexpectedly even. The sexuality of the main character is never waved like rainbow flag in the reader's face, but rather is treated as a development, instead of an event.

To call "The Next" a 'gay version of Rear Window',    while not an inaccurate description,  I feel does the book a disservice.   It isn't a story that asks "what if Jimmy Stewart's character was Gay?" and then goes from there.  Rather it it takes many of the elements of  Rear Window,  and allows us to experience them   from a new perspective,  that in this case,  just happens to be in a world that includes Gay people.

Sounds like art imitating life if you ask me.      I thoroughly enjoyed this book,  and  was surprised to learn it is Rafe Haze's first published novel.  I look forward to see what he will write ... next.

"The Next", by  Rafe Haze is available April 23rd,  for download,  from Wilde City Press. 

When Your 'Enemy' Dies...

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From the  BBC:

The Reverend Fred Phelps Sr, founder of the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas, died on Wednesday evening at 84.  

The church, made up mostly of his family, rose to international notoriety with its practice of picketing funerals of fallen US troops.   It claimed their deaths were punishment for America's tolerance of gay people. Their signs read "Thank God for dead soldiers" and "Thank God for 9/11" and the like, and bore messages offensive to gay and lesbian people.

Born in Mississippi in 1929, Mr Phelps was raised a Methodist and was selected to attend the US Military Academy.  He was ordained a Baptist minister, though Westboro was not attached to any mainstream denomination.

Mr Phelps earned a law degree from Washburn University in 1964, but was stripped of his licence to practise in Kansas in 1979. The Kansas Supreme Court said Mr Phelps made false statements in documents and "showed little regard" for professional ethics.

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I only met Fred Phelps once. It was in 1998. Phelps and members of his "congregation" (family members) had come to Chicago to protest at the  Broadway United Methodist Church. 

The church on Chicago's North side, is located in the Lakeview neighborhood, which is known as the center of Chicago's LGBT community. Phelps targeted  the church  in response to news that the Pastor, Greg Dell performed a  service of Holy Union for two men in his congregation that September.

In response, members of many of the surrounding churches in the neighborhood, including  Holy Trinity Lutheran Church, where I was member;  turned out and formed a human  "ring of love" that moved in a circle around the entire building, effectively  cutting  the Phelps clan off from access to the church or anyone attending  that Sunday's services.   

Purely by chance  I found myself  standing in a position in the ring,  directly opposite Phelps for about  ten minutes.   While he screamed right into my face of how much God hated me,  how much I was to blame for all the evils  befalling  America, how I was "most assuredly" going to die from AIDS and  would burn forever in hell.

Then the ring started to move again,  I smiled  and said ; "Nice to meet you Mr. Phelps, thank you for your time." (I made a point of not calling him "reverend" hoping that would offend him,)  and moved away hearing Phelps still ranting off into the distance.

For  a good part of the rest of that day  I felt pretty good, and rather proud of myself.  In my brief interactions with the infamous Fred Phelps, I kept my cool , didn't take the bait and try to argue with him, or  get angry and  rant back  how  he was the one who was behaving in ways that God would find offensive. I was polite,  cheerful and  confident.

 I had only  weeks before, come out to my own family.  As I walked the few short blocks back up Broadway to my apartment, I felt  flush  with my new-found courage and pride as an out Gay Man.   I would even  go as far as to say I was feeling  slightly superior, maybe even a  little smug.

Yet as the day went on,  I  found myself  getting  angrier and angrier.  I started wishing I had yelled back  at Phelps.  I  regretted not calling him out as a sad bitter, twisted evil pathetic waste of a human life. I so wished that I  had told him that  the God I know bears no resemblance to the one he claimed to speak for.  That God was going to send HIM to hell for his horrific protest at the funeral of Matthew Shepard, only weeks before.  

I stood looking out at the skyline of Chicago through my living room window seething  at the lost opportunity.  While glorious images of  myself raging at Phelps in righteous indignation while he cowered behind a trash can,  flooded my mind. 

Then I realized, in that moment,  by letting myself  get so angry, I was letting Phelps win.  

I sat down, opened a can cherry coke,  and took a deep breath.   As I calmed down,   I  knew that Fred Phelps  was not someone to be hated, this was a man to be pitied.   As  I thought about that,  all that anger faded away as quickly as it had come.   After that day I really didn't give  Phelps or his Westboro Baptist clan much thought.   Aside from a passing item in the news about  Phelps' despicable protests at  the funerals of  dead American service personnel, Fred Phelps, like the anger I felt that day, faded from my memory.   Until this week. 

A number of people have emailed me, asking if I was happy to hear  of Phelp's death.  Or did  I feel that  the LGBT community should picket his funeral and subject the Phelps family to  same sort of torment and disrespect that he inflicted on so many other families  over the years.  As tempting as it is to  say yes to that,  cathartic  even.   The answer is, and must be... No.    

The fact is,  we all owe  Fred Phelps a  tremendous debt.   His  irrational hatred of others provided the greatest argument in favor of LGBT equality  that anyone could have ever wished for.   His vile rants and heartless acts of disrespect for people different than him,  did more to advance the cause of diversity and equality than any court ruling or  protest march  ever could.  

The  brilliant, and chilling HBO original movie  "Conspiracy", depicts the actual events  at the Wansee Conference  outside Berlin. Where officials of Hitler's Third Reich planned what history would come to know as the Holocaust. In one of the final scenes, Nazi SS General Reinhard Heydrich, shares a story that one of the other participants at the meeting told him about the dangers of allowing hatred of one group of people to consume your life.

I wonder what the surviving members of the Westboro Baptist Church will do after the rest of the world finally does leave them  behind. Or now that the driving force that pushed them on their journey of bigotry and hate is gone.  The greatest irony of Fred Phelps' life, is as he saw equality for LGBT people as the greatest evil imaginable, he may have done more than any other single person to help move the fight for that equality forward.

Fred Phelps'  true legacy is that he was, a one-man Gay Pride Parade.

 

So ...it was nice to meet you Mr. Phelps,  thank you for your time.

Happy St. Patrick's Day ...

When Bubbles and Echo Chambers Become Prisons...

In the days following  the   2012  election, there  were no shortage of  "post mortem"  segments on cable tv news  as to why  the  GOP lost  so  spectacularly.   Most  focused on the  over confidence and key missteps made by the  Romney campaign.   Yet it was the ever-insightful  Rachel Maddow  who focused on the  real  issue facing the Republican Party...

Political writer Brian Beutler has an interesting piece in the current issue of Salon Magazine that examines  the effects of  the Republican Party's complete  inability to heed  Maddow's very  sage and  relevant advice.   Now a year and a half on from their 2012 humiliation, the  GOP has  instead, doubled down on the bubble.  Having circled their conservative media wagons around their  rapidly  shrinking base,  the  Republican Party  has decided  that facts  clearly have a liberal bias, so  the GOP simply won't worry about them.

Inside the  ever more tightly sealed echo chamber of  conservative media and  Republican politics,  there are  no Facts, just  articles of faith.  These include:  Reagan = Good,  Obama= Bad, Very, Very, Very, Bad.   Any Republican who works with, supports ANYTHING done by, or  even speaks nicely about  Barack Obama is a  RINO. (Republican In Name Only).  Poor Americans = Lazy, "takers",  Rich Americans  = Hard Working "job creators".  

Any government involvement in Health Care = Bad, Bad, Socialism!  Medicare = Good , for well and better-off  Seniors, (figure that one out.)   Medicare = Bad,  for poor Seniors.  Libyan, Syrian, Egyptian, Palestinian  and Iranian poor Muslims = Bad Terrorists.  Saudi, UAE and Qatari rich Muslims who fund the terrorists = Good.   The Affordable Care Act = Worse than the Holocaust.  9-11 = Happened before George W. Bush was President.   Benghazi = Worst Terrorist Attack on Americans EVER.  The Deficit = is going up.. WAY UP, (any numbers that say differently  are lies put out by Obama and his accomplices in the liberal media.)

I guess it is time I come clean and make a small confession. I used to be a republican.

(I will pause here to allow for gasps of horror and disbelief.)

Feel better? Ok, moving on...

Yes I was a card carrying member of the GOP. I even was an elected officer in the College Republicans. I campaigned for Reagan-Bush as a Young Republican and for Bush-Quayle '88 as a College Republican. In a box in my closet are framed photos of yours truly with the likes of Ronald Reagan, George HW Bush, Dan Quayle, Bob and Elizabeth Dole and even the late Lee Atwater. (Former Chairman of the GOP).

The GOP I belonged to wasn't a big bucket of crazy, it was the party that stood for individual freedom as well as individual and collective responsibility. So what happened? Simple, in 1992 the Republican Party lost its mind, and then its soul. The GOP went nuts and truth, became negotiable. Pat Buchanon stood before the National Convention and declared the GOP must fiight a "Culture War" for the soul of America. 

Now in 2014 we see the full bloom of the rancid weed that was planted during that speech.

I didn't  leave the  GOP,  the  Republican Party as  it had existed since the  election of  President Lincoln ceased to exist in 1992. Let's be very clear  when I talk about the Republican Party, or  the GOP of today, it not just the political party itself anymore.  I am referring to both the Party itself, and the conservative media bubble that  has encompassed it, creating  a hermetically sealed bubble.  An echo chamber of  talking points  that only support one narrative;  Bipartisanship is bad.  Obama is evil,  and you can only trust  FOX News, WorldNet Daily  and  Rush Limbaugh.

Abraham Lincoln believed in freeing the oppressed, uniting the nation, and punishing War Profiteers. Today's  GOP ignores oppression in countries that don't have Oil or where the leaders are family friends. While ignoring the needs of  soldiers and veterans in favor of the greed of  war profiteers.

Dwight Eisenhower viewed war is always a last desperate resort, and an unchecked military industrial complex is a threat to democracy. Today's GOP sees an unchecked military industrial complex as more important than the health and welfare of the American People.

Richard Nixon understood that we live in a world of interconnected global relationships. Constructive engagement and detente' are always more successful than direct conflict. Today's GOP blusters "You are with us or against us". To seek the cooperation of Foreign Leader or even to have respect of citizens of other nations is ridiculed as a sign of weakness.

Gerald Ford truly believed in duty, and that the interests of the nation are more important than polls or elections. He was a living example on how accepting responsibility for the actions you take in office, is a president's first obligation.  Today's GOP sees transparency as a threat and can never under ANY circumstances admit a mistake.

Ronald Reagan saw that to achieve PEACE through strength, America's allies were the key to America's security. He knew that Big Government is never a substitute for American Ingenuity, and he understood that Faith is a private matter not a poltical platform. Today's GOP uses faith is political tool. America's historic allies are disposable, and big Government is the greatest evil there is,  EXCEPT  when it can make the GOP base happy.

George HW Bush said it best in his inaugural address; "In crucial things, unity, in important things diversity, and in all things generosity... When America says something, America means it. Whether a treaty an agreement or a vow made on marble steps." He used Personal diplomacy to build a grand coalition of nations the likes of which had not been seen since World War II.

Today's  GOP thinks that the Geneva Convention is "Outdated and quaint", "public" meetings should only be open to hand picked supporters. And has given us a nation more divided than at anytime since the civil war.  Eager to start wars for ego and money, with no thought to the costs either monetary or in human terms.

My Grandfather's Republican Party fought for smaller, less intrusive Government.  Today's GOP fights to amend the constitution to regulate the bedrooms and bodies of American Women. Along with a pledge to make the Federal Government  the most intrusive entity into the private lives of Americans in History.  My Grandfather's Republican Party sought to make the US the leader of Strong Global Alliances. Today's GOP loves to bash the UN, and loves to demand that the United States act unilaterally and recklessly, and trashes diplomacy calling it weak.

My Grandfather's Republican Party understood fiscal responsibility, and that Jobs are the engine of the American Economy. Today's GOP,  gave us massive Debt and deficits. Policies that tax the Lower and Middle Class to pay for tax breaks for the most wealthy, resulting in the loss of more jobs on their watch than any time since the days of Herbert Hoover.

This past week at the  annual  Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) we heard  a great deal about the GOP's "respect for life", an easily packaged label for a zealous push to eliminate reproductive rights for American women, and achieve theologically based government regulation of how life begins and ends.

"Defending families" is the GOP  the code phrase for a zealous push to deny any and all, rights, to Gay and Lesbian Americans no matter what the cost.  There was lots of talk about the importance of the 2nd and 1st  Amendments to the U.S. Constitution, (in that order).  Yet in the minds of the CPAC faithful, the Bill of Rights stops there,

 Heath Care for  the millions of  Americans  left uninsured and ignored for decades, is  decried as an attack on the very fabric of the Nation.  Families living in poverty ridiculed as  "takers"  for  needing  food stamps to help  feed their children. Veterans who served with honor and distinction are discarded as being part of a "Culture of Entitlement"  for wanting the respect of and help from the nation they served.   Americans who have lost loved ones in Iraq or Afghanistan are seen as annoying reminders of  past blunders, and distractions from the new drumbeat  for war with Iran.

Rather than stand for the principles that  guided  the Republican Party for over 130 years,  in 1992 the GOP embraced not the better angels of its nature, but  the darker demons.  For Today's GOP, facts are their own  inconvenient truths, so they are  overlooked  and decried as a plot to discredit Conservative ideas by the "liberal lame stream media".

For today's GOP the "culture of life" ends at the prison door. The Neo-Conservative Right, may hate abortion, but they love capital punishment. Today's  GOP will rush to defend the lives of the unborn. Yet after you come out of the womb however, you get to join the GOP's  "ownership society" - meaning you are on your own.

In 1989, George Bush's Father lamented that we were in a time  in our nation where "not each other's ideas are questioned, but each others motives." Twenty-five years later, the party his Son Jeb seeks to lead, has embraced that model,  making  its legacy in 2014,  one of division, rancor and politically expedient hate.

We live in a time when the Republican Party seeks to define "American" as only those people who conform to a particular limited , fearful view of the world.   It is a political party that history will remember for a legacy of "fifty percent plus one."

It is a Party that sees  the key to victory, as  being able to divide people as much as they can, then prevent any who oppose them  from having equal access to the political process. Be they people of color, people who don't speak English, or people who are not Conservative Evangelical Heterosexuals.

Today's GOP likes to talk about the need to "Save America", when  the hard truth is the Republican Party needs to save itself,  from  itself.   The Republican Party  has discarded  its grand legacy of  principled American Exceptionalism, and embraced a sad  mixture of  angry ignorance, fact-free arrogance and heartless apathy towards all who don't fit into their gilded mold.

I look at the Party calling itself "Republican", and I don't recognize it, at all.  What's more,  I don't think any of those aforementioned great men would recognize it either.

A bit of Catch Up Blogging...

Yeah yeah... I know.   Blogs been a bit quiet.  

The 50 Billion Dollar  Putin-palooza   that  was the  2014 Winter Olympics  ended  with fireworks and  the folks in Sochi even poking fun at their own  mishaps over the course of the Games.  Dancers  recreated the technical glitch from the opening ceremony when one of the five Olympic rings failed to open.   So fair play to  Sochi.

Meanwhile  back in the United States,  the  American Taliban  finally  decided it was tired of  losing  the  culture war and decided to strike back  Putin-Style at  LGBT Americans,  and  try to pass  "religious freedom projection laws".     Which are laws that basically say,  you can  violate any civil rights laws you want  by  claiming  that  God told you to.   Yes,  you read that  correctly.     The state of Arizona  is  one of the first  to  go so far  as to actually pass  such a law.   The question now  is  whether  Arizona's  Republican Governor, Jan Brewer will  sign  it into law.



But Arizona is just the tip of the  bigotry  iceberg.   A a number of other conservative states, including, Kansas, Tennessee and Georgia, have similar legislation working  its way through  their respective state legislatures.   All this  taking place in the shadow of  Russia's modern day  "Nuremberg Laws"  targeting  Gays and Lesbians,  and  the  American Taliban's  latest  overseas achievement, in Uganda.

The idea  that  it should be legal to discriminate against  someone because your particular  religion says so, is not new.   Women and other minorities  are  marginalized  in many parts of the world solely  on basis of  religious edict.

The Wing Nuts on the American Religious and  Cultural right wing,  realizing  they  can't win the debate on facts, and seeing the massive shift in attitudes on cultural issues;  Have decided the best  defense  is  to  claim that  THEY are the real victims here ,  and granting  equality to  people they don't like,  is an "attack" on their religious beliefs.

Of course  the chance of  these  new state laws, should they be enacted,  actually surviving the legal challenges that would most certain follow, are remote at best.   Yet  it signals  an interesting shift in the tactics of  anti-Gay American Taliban.    It also presents a real opportunity for the Religious Left to stand up for the religious freedom of people who actually  follow the  teachings of Christ.   Or  as  Seattle-based writer/activist  Dan Savage calls them,  NALT (Not All Like That)  Christians.



Dan has a point...

Sochi 2014, The IOC reaps what it has sown...

With the countdown to the  2014 Winter Olympic Games in Sochi, Russia  now figured in hours, the world's attention has  slowly begun to turn to  the sleepy sub tropical resort town that is to host  the  games.   What they are finding is  not  terribly surprising...

Lets set aside  for just a moment moment,  the most disturbing issue facing  the International Olympic Committee; Their tacit support and enabling of  the violent percecution of  LBGT Russians,  and instead talk about  what  has become the most  expensive and most  corrupt  Olympic Games in history.

IOC President, Thomas Bach has decided the best thing for him to do is to stand in front of the world, look reality in the eye and just pretend not to see it.  His recent press conference with  Russian President Vladimir Putin, was a epic display of  denial  soaked in desperate self-justification.   Completely ignoring the elephants in the room,  Bach instead insisted the  real problem is all those pesky nay-sayers  badmouthing  Sochi and his  new BFF  Vladimir Putin.

The process by which the IOC awarded  the  2014 Winter Games to Sochi  is at best, ridiculously suspect.  Bach and IOC's  tone-deaf,  fingers in ears,  "la- la-la!  Can't hear you!! Nothing is wrong!"  response, has only served to  further undermine what little credibility  the IOC had left.   

Unable to resist  adding his voice to the chorus of  ignorance and idiocy led by Putin and Bach,  the Mayor of Sochi  chimed in with his two rubles worth, claiming there weren't any Gay people in Sochi so all the  international furor  over persecution of LGBT Russians was not a relevant issue.  The Young Turks  had a field day with that one...

Humor aside, the IOC has, through either complicity or incompetence allowed the one of the most corrupt regimes in the world to stand on the global stage, hands stained with blood of their own LGBT citizens, and pockets stuffed with Billions of dollars in kickback cash. All wrapped in the legitimacy of the Olympic Movement..

Dear San Francisco...

It was three years ago this week that i accepted an invitation to a job interview, that along with a series of other events,  led to my finally leaving San Francisco that April, and moving here to London. 

(Now before the great city of London takes any umbrage at this post,  let me say that obviously moving here was one of  the greatest things ever to happen to me, on both a personal and professional level.) 

Yet there are nights like this one... where it is unseasonably warm for late January in London, and a slight fog hangs in air, when I do think of you, and you are missed.

Oh well...

The Ethics of "Outing"

The  progressive  blogosphere  has been  all a buzz over the past few days over the  potential "outing"  of a  Conservative Republican Congressman  as Gay.    The Young Turks  give us the  details...



The Congressman in question  is  Aaaron Schock of  Illinois,  who has faced  questions  about his sexuality in the past.   The initial posting by  Journalist Itay Hod, and  the  subsequent  coverage over on Americablog,  has  once again  put the issue  of  "outing"  on the front page of the LGBT blogs.    A number of people have asked me  what I thought about all this.    It's a complex question.

outing -ˈaʊtɪŋ  noun

1. 1.

   the practice of revealing the homosexuality of a prominent person.
2. "the outing of gays by the press" -

   synonyms:

   exposure, unmasking, uncovering, revelation, exposé

There are two schools of thought here, which can simplistically be described at the Privacy Argument and the Hypocrisy Argument.  The first is pretty simple to understand.   I don't know anyone  who  has come through the process of  Coming Out,  who couldn't tell you in vivid detail of the  terror, and yes that is the word for it;  The terror they felt at one time or another  that  they might be outed to  friends, family, employers or  anyone else for that matter,  before they were ready to  Come Out.   

It is a fear that  drives  many  LGBT people to  suicide.  The tragic case of  18 year old  Rutgers University student Tyler Clementi, who committed suicide after being outed by his roommate, is one of countless cases where  the result of either being outed, or  the fear of being outed has been a direct factor in the tragic death of  someone  who was Gay.

Consequently,  Outing is seen by many as a grotesque invasion of privacy, and something that  can never be justified.   I can appreciate that argument.  After all,  having faced that terror  for  years,  growing up, it  is something I would never want to intentionally  inflict on anyone,  even my worst enemy.    Which interestingly enough leads right into the counter argument for Outing.

It is the  argument  that outing people who are Gay,  but  who actively work against  LGBT rights, is justified.  people who live a double life of attacking LGBT people by day,  and sleeping with them by night.  People like George Rekers .  The prominent anti gay activist and proponent  of the discredited practice of   "Reparative Therapy".   (The idea you can change Sexual Orientation through religion-based counseling.)     A practice that has been directly responsible for the deaths of  uncounted  Gay and Lesbian youth, who in despair over being unable to change who there are, took their own lives. 

Rekers was outed by a reporter  when he returned from a European Vacation with a young gay male escort he had hired and taken with him on the trip.   So the argument goes  that the Outing of  people like Rekers, and  Congressman Schock,  is a justified response to their own hypocrisy, and the damage their actions have done to other LGBT people.  

Yet interestingly enough,  the  basic  issue  still remains the same.   Fear.    It is a fear of being outed  that  drives homophobia  in many  people.  Causing  some closeted  LGBT people to  act out in ways that  they feel will  help convince  others (and themselves),  that they are really straight.  They see their actions as the way to fight the feelings they are struggling with.  Feelings they desperately want to see as  just some sort of temporary  anomaly.  Research  has  shown that many of the  people who demonstrate the most pronounced  discomfort with  Homosexuality  are if fact  reacting to what  they fear most  in themselves.  

There are many who argue that  Congressman Schock's   100% record of voting against  LGBT rights, and his public pronouncements  against  equal rights  for  LGBT Americans  stands in such stark contrast to his personal conduct  behind  closed doors, that it warrants  public exposure.    I myself  blogged extensively  about  the Rekers scandal,   and at the time basically  said  that any public humiliation  and harm that  George Rekers suffered  as a result of being outed,  was not only justified but  far was probably far  less than what he deserved. 

So why I am feeling  squeamish about the outing of  Aaron Schock?      

 I don't really know exactly.   Part of me feels that   Schock is not  "important enough", to  warrant being outed.    One could argue that Schock has  never been the  deciding vote on any of the major issues we are talking about here.  His anti-gay actions, whatever the motivation,  have not prevented Illinois from becoming  a state where Marriage Equality is the law of the land.  

Yet, at the same time  I can understand why many people are opposed to giving Congressman Schock a pass,   if  he IS gay.  As  his  actions in Congress certainly reek of  hypocrisy.   I have known other  Republican politicians  who are Gay , or who I certainly believed were Gay,  and  often wondered how they  reconciled their public actions with who they truly  are.   It must be said,  Coming Out  is not easy.  It is a tumultuous and  at times terrifying  process of self acceptance and discovery.   

Looking back on my own  journey,  I can in partially empathize with  people like  Congressman Aaron Schock.  I was a College Republican until I finally left  the GOP in 1992.  When the anti-gay rhetoric and policies  became more than I could in my own deep dark closet, ignore.   Yet up to that point,   I had campaigned and voted for  Ronald Reagan, and George HW Bush.  So  you could say, in my own small way, I helped enable the  massage damage  both those Presidencies  wreaked upon the LGBT community.    Yet  as with most things in life,  the issues we face, and  choices  we make when living in that state of constant fear,  otherwise known as,  "the closet",  are never as black and white as many would like to claim.

If Aaron Schock is Gay, I can only  hope he  realizes  what people like former RNC Chair Ken Mehlman, and other people  who once  were driven by their own internalized homophobia  to work against  the rights of people just like them,  have discovered.   Coming Out is not only liberating,  but  you find a community that is first and foremost,  accepting and yes... forgiving.    

After all,  most of us  have been there too,  and can honestly say that  life  truly is better on the other side of that closet door.

Tempus Fugit... Time Flies- Farewell 2013, Welcome 2014!

We begin with a bit of trivia courtesy of Wikipedia...

"Auld Lang Syne" (Scots pronunciation: [ˈɔːl(d) lɑŋˈsəin]: note "s" rather than "z")   is a Scots poem written by Robert Burns in 1788   and set to the tune of a traditional folk song (Roud # 6294).  The song's Scots title may be translated into English literally as "old long since", or more idiomatically, "long long ago",  or  "days gone by" or "old times". Consequently "For auld lang syne", as it appears in the first line of the chorus, might be loosely translated as "for (the sake of) old times".

This year we actually managed to avoid the crowds in Central London and instead opted for a quiet New Year's at home watching the various celebrations unfold both here in London and around the world.

Reading  posts  on  the various social media   platforms,  it  seems there are lots of  people  around the world who are not  sad to see 2013 depart.   It has been a difficult  year for many.   Economic pressures  around the world, while  easing  somewhat  in places, remain  an issue for  vast  majority of people.  We have seen   a  largely  jobless recovery that  seems to be  benefiting a the top 1% far more  than  it has helped anyone else yet.   

For us,   2013  was not a bad year but  it was challenging.   My travel schedule  was  insane  having  started the year with a trip to Hong Kong,  then  hitting  the Middle East,  Central Europe,  North America,  then back to  Germany and Poland,  and finishing up the year last month  back in Hong Kong.   Thankfully   2014  promises to be  a year  of  considerably  less  business travel.

One bright spot this year were  dramatic  changes in the US  around the issue of Same Sex Marriage,   along with our own  American wedding, in  San Francisco  last July. (We were already legal spouses here in the UK through our Civil Partnership)   Consequently, a question  we have been asked regularly this year, is  will be  be moving back to the United States?    

That is  a complex issue and frankly, there isn't a simply yes or no answer to that.     Yes,  we would like at some point,  to move back to the  U.S.,  but  No,  we don't  know  exactly  when that will be. 

Also,  we look across the pond  and see the state of  affairs back  in the United States,  and frankly it doesn't  inspire an overwhelming  rush to pack up and move back.   The end of 2013 saw the  Republican Party  double down on the  Obama Derangement  Syndrome  that has defined  them  for the last 5 years.  A move that   has accomplished nothing,  other than critically damaging the GOP's  chances of  ever again being a national governing party.

Yet stupidity cloaked in political ideology is not solely an American prerogative.  Here in the United Kingdom,  Britain's own  version of the  "tea party"  are  the  folks over  at  the United Kingdom Independence Party or  "UKIP".    Like their  Duck Dynasty loving cousins  across the pond,  UKIP has  decided that  trying to make voters scared of  people who are not  white anglo-saxons  is the best way  to  take votes  away from  Britain's  Conservative Party.    The effort  however, rather  like a Sarah Palin Book tour, has not been going well.

\

We are optimistic  about  2014 though.   It  will be a year  of  big changes for  Eric and myself.   Later this month  I will  leave my current  role with  Buro Happold  after a wonderful 3 years as their head of  Learning and Development,  and move on  to an exciting  new role  leading global L&D efforts back in the  Financial Services sector.  It is in many ways  coming full circle  for me.  Having had my first senior role  in Corporate  Learning years ago, with  the global  Dutch bank  ABN  AMRO.   

In wishing a Happy New Year to all our  friends and family around the world,  we  are so  grateful  for  your love and  friendship.  To our  families  in  the United States in  New Jersey,  Wisconsin and California, in Malaysia,  in  Kuala Lumpur and  Malacca and  here in  the UK in North London.  We  love you all and hope to see  more of  you  in  2014.

To our incredible "extended family", our  friends  scattered  all over  the globe.   We think of and miss you all.    From folks back in LA and San Francisco, CA  to  Dallas, Houston and  San Antonio TX,  Omaha NE,  Chicago, IL,   Madison and Milwaukee WI, New York, NY,    Knoxville, TN,  Seattle, WA,  Portland, OR,   Latrobe, PA., Winchendon  and Wilmington, MA.  Columbus and Dahlonega GA.  Sydney and Melbourne  Australia,  Osan, South Korea, Hong Kong,  Toronto, Brussels, Kuala Lumpur , Amsterdam,  Lisbon and Sao Paulo , and of course here in London.   To name only a few of  the corners of the world where  we are blessed to have  amazing  friends.  

 To all of you  we  can only say how much we hope to see you  at some point in 2014, and remind you  that  we do have a rather nice guest room here.... just  sayin'...

Happy New Year  Everyone.   Here's  to  2014!  May it bring  all that  you hope for, and more.

Love,

David & Eric

Regeneration - Time of the Doctor

"We all change, when you think about it... we're all different people all through our lives, and that's okay, that's good.  You've got to keep moving... So long as you remember all the people that you used be."

- The Doctor

Brilliant...

Happy Holidays from Me to You...

Where ever you are, what ever traditions you embrace, or holidays you are celebrating this time of year, I want to take a moment and say Thank You.  

The incredible support you have shown to this modest little blogging effort over the past year has been the most amazing gift,  for which I am very very grateful.

I wish you and yours a joyous holiday season, and the very best for the new year.

For those of you who are celebrating the arrival of the Child in Bethlehem, we give the last word on this Christmas Eve as always, to one of the great Theologians of the 20th Century, Linus Van Pelt.

Lights please...

Asking for some holiday help...

Hey there friends and readers-o-mine!

Your help is desperately needed! If you have  a few moments to spare, Please follow the link and vote for my good friend Rudy Guerrero for the 2013 Broadway World San Francisco Awards

Rudy is nominated for best featured actor in a musical (local) featured actor in play and leading actor in a play!

You can vote at this link, Or simply cut and paste the URL below into your web broswer

http://www.broadwayworld.com/san-francisco/vote2013region.cfm

Thanks!

Dave

As the Holiday Season Gets Under Way...

As  the Christmas Tree is now up and decorated in the living room,  I  will kick off the start of the Holiday season   the same way I always have  on this blog, with the best version of  "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas",  EVER recorded.  

With all due respect  to  Judy Garland and even  Nat King Cole,  it doesn't get any better than this.

Take it away Guys...

Catch Up Blogging...

Star Harbor in Kowloon

Well I survived a week in Hong Kong,  I was there for  a business trip,  this time  Eric  wasn't able to go with because of  Jury Duty back in London.    The weather  was very nice,  averaging  about  24 degrees Celsius  the entire week.   I even managed to get over the Kowloon side  and snap a "selfie".  The trip went well, but  it  was a long week,  and  I am  quite happy to be home again, thank you very much.

Dinner with Wade & Julian

Upon my return from Hong Kong, Eric and I both took this past week off from work, and had a "staycation". We stayed at home and were wonderfully unproductive. We did manage to get out and about to meet up with our incredible dear friends Julian Chang and Wade Estey. Wade was in town for business meetings, and Julian came along.

Flat Stanley visits Tower Bridge!

Julian also brought along a "friend". He is helping out the students
from the Riley Avenue School, Room 23, in Calverton, NY. The Students in this particular class have a "classmate" named Flat Stanley. Even though Flat Stanley is made of cardboard, he really likes to travel and visit people all over the world. He sends back postcards from all these  places, which the students then learn all about. So this past week, Flat Stanley was able to send back pictures from his adventures in London.    If you are interested in helping out, and would like Flat Stanley to come visit your part of the world, just drop me an email or a comment here, and I will help arrange Flat Stanley to come visit you!

On a sad note,   of course the big news this week has been the passing of former South African President, and Human Rights Icon,   Nelson Mandela.

 I can only echo what others have said far more eloquently, We shall never see his like again. He was true giant on the stage of Human History and his passing is not just a loss to South Africa; (My South African friends, Peter and Hester you are in my thoughts) it is truly a loss to the entire world.

I had  hoped that  the  wingnuts on the  American Right Wing  would  have had  the  common decency  and  basic humanity  to  behave, and  contain  their  innate  racism and irrational  hatred of  well...  everything,  and  refrain from  making complete and utter  fools of themselves.   Alas, as it turns out,   that would be far too much to hope for.   Over on Fox News,  blowhard and serial  sexual  harasser Bill O'Reilly was chatting it up with  perennial GOP Presidential Hopeful  Rick Santorum when he  just  couldn't  help himself.

 (from alternet)

As the world grieves the loss of Nelson Mandela and an outpouring of praise and gratitude roll in, Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly seemingly felt the urge to brand Mandela a communist. The republican made the remarks while speaking to former GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum on The O’Reilly Factor about the future of the Republican party,Meditate reported.

“He was a communist, this man. He was a communist, all right? But he was a great man! What he did for his people was stunning!...He was a great man! But he was a communist!”

O’Reilly's decision to invoke Mandela into the discussion about GOP politics can only be described as stupid, yet Santorum didn’t do much better in comparing the struggle against apartheid to fighting against big government here in the United States.

“He was fighting against some great injustice, and I would make the argument that we have a great injustice going on right now in this country with an ever-increasing size of government that is taking over and controlling people’s lives – and Obamacare is front and center in that,” Santorum said.

Did you get that?   So  according to Santorum,  the struggle  against  Apartheid is just like Obamacare... Wow.   If your faith in the craziness of  the American Right wing is faltering,  don't worry,  it's Rush Limbaugh to the rescue!  The  right-wing Talk Radio host, and  drug addict  also jumped right into the right wing media hate-fest  using the news  of  Mandela's  passing to  (what else?)  claim  President Obama is  an egomaniac who apparently hates the U.S Constitution.

If you really want to  wade into the cesspool  of racism, irrationality  and  rampant stupidity  that is frothing up on the American political right,  you can find a comprehensive  recap over on the  Media Matters website.

I'd like to say  I am shocked or even  surprised by stuff like this,  but the sad truth is I am not.   It is clear  that  the American Conservative Movement  is no longer  even remotely sane. It has been co-opted by a neo-confederate movement of race-based hatred of President Obama, and race-based fear of the trends in American Population demographics.

  Lawrence O'Donnell examined  this in recent segment on MSNBC.

The fear  that the  American Far Right  feels  and  is being stoked  by  Conservative media and Republican politicians  the United States  is an  affront to  everything  Nelson Mandela  stood for.   On February 3, 2005, Nelson Mandela addressed over 20,000 people in London's Trafalgar Square to tell word leaders to end extreme global poverty.



Mandela said, "Overcoming poverty is not a gesture of charity. It is an act of justice. It is the protection of a fundamental human right, the right to dignity and a decent life. While poverty persists, there is no true freedom."

Amen indeed...

We Pause, Fifty Years Later...

To remember what was... and  what could have been.

50th Anniversary Prequel Mini-episode!

The Night of the Doctor

Aloha Hawaii!

Courtesy of Wikipedia –

Aloha in the Hawaiian language means affection, peace, compassion and mercy. Since the middle of the 19th century, it also has come to be used as an English greeting to say goodbye and hello. "Aloha" is also included in the state nickname of Hawaii, the "Aloha State".

(From the Huffington Post:)

HONOLULU, Nov 8 (Reuters) - Hawaii's House of Representatives approved a bill on Friday to legalize same-sex marriage in the overwhelmingly Democratic state popular as a wedding and honeymoon destination, paving the way for anticipated final passage in the Senate next week.  The measure cleared the House in a late-night vote of 30-19.  Governor Neil Abercrombie has indicated he would swiftly sign the measure into law, making Hawaii the 15th or 16th U.S. state to extend marriage rights to gay and lesbian couples. --As currently drafted, the Hawaii bill would take effect on Dec. 2.

This past week, Eric and I watched via the web,   the testimony on the proposed bill on Marriage Equality, before the State Senate and Assembly in the U.S. State of Hawaii. To be honest, most of it was pretty painful to sit though. Opponents of equal rights flooded the hearings with speakers in an attempt to “run out the clock” on the legislation and prevent it from getting to a vote.

Speaker after speaker got up to parrot the same list of ridiculous and completely false talking points, designed to stoke homophobia in state lawmakers. Claiming gay sex would be a mandated subject in Hawaii schools, claiming children raised by same sex couples are abused and grow up damaged. Claims, that granting equal rights is a “slippery slope” that would lead to polygamy, legalized incest and bestiality.

It was very hard to sit and listen to seemingly normal people stand up and spew such bigoted, vile and utterly discredited lies about not just their fellow Hawaiians, but about all LGBT people. People who seem to honestly believe that they are victims of discrimination because they can’t put the civil rights of people they don’t like up for a public vote.

I was pretty much set to write Hawaii off as a bastion of bigotry,  where “Aloha” had clearly been reduced to nothing more than a tourist slogan, when this happened…

Hawaii State Representative, Mark Kaniela Ing  at age 24, is the youngest member of the State Legislature. In a debate saturated with a sea of hateful testimony, his comments were a brilliant moment of clarity and heartfelt honesty, eloquently spoken by a straight ally. 

Ing described how learning of   Matthew Shepard's murder changed his own  perceptions of gay people, and how the reality of the lives  of his own constituents completely discredited  the "gay lifestyle" argument that anti-equality policymakers had tried to make the central issue in the debate.

 Someone who like many people, grew up thinking one thing, and though his own life experience of seeing the truth of the lives of LGBT people, came to understand what was really at stake here. Representative Ing stood up for equality, he stood up for justice and yes, he stood up for the true meaning of   "Aloha".

One of the reason opponents of equal civil rights for all, are in such a panic, is because they know they are losing. In 2013 it's much harder in the light of facts and common sense, to make people believe that their friends, their family members, are some kind of "threat". It's much harder to convince people who know LGBT people, that those same friends, those same families, deserve to be treated as something less than everyone else.

The hate groups that have made their fortunes selling bigotry and fear, are now themselves, very scared because the snake oil they have been peddling for over a generation isn't selling any more, and lawmakers like Kaniela Ing, are not afraid to stand up and say so.

Aloha indeed...