Thursday, April 16, 2009

Again with the Gays!? What is it with you People?

Dear Anti Gay "Conservatives":

What is it with you people? You all need professional help.


You are obsessed with homosexuality. You think about it night and day. It's all you can talk about. Gay Adoptions, Gay Marriage, books with possible Gay content. (Except for Lynne Cheney's soft-core Lesbian romance novel, apparently that one is okay.) Gay characters on TV or in movies, basically if anything is even remotely connected to Homosexuality you are all over that like AIG on bailout money.

Gay people don't think about Homosexuality as much as you do. Your fetish for all things Gay has come out once again. This time in the form of TV ad courtesy of the conservative evangelical Ooompa Loompas at one of your new groups calling itself, "National Organization for Marriage".

The ad is striking, black storm clouds roll in the background. Bolts of lightning streak across the sky behind a group of distraught looking "average Americans" all talking about the Gay Attack on Marriage". And how granting same sex couples the right to marry would take away THEIR civil rights. But you couldn't find any real people who are as jazzed up about the 'Gay Threat' as you are, so you had to get really bad actors to give you your "gay attack" jollies.

Your latest bit of wing-nuttery crosses the line from dishonest and stupid, to just plain silly. As usual though, your passion for Homosexuality, avoids any connection to facts or reality.

But apparently your deep love for all things gay doesn't stop there. What is interesting, (and really entertaining) this time around, is how your quest for Gay-ness has expanded to economic issues . This past week you wanted millions of Americans to "teabag" President Obama.

So what you are saying is, your new cause is "tea bagging".... Really?

If that wasn't silly enough, you want millions of Americans to join your brand new "2 Million For Marriage" movement. Or, as you want to call it (being the hip, savvy interwebby types you are..) "2M4M"! Clearly somebody needs to teach you all how to use that "Google thing on the interwebs." It might save you a lot of embarrassment.

I really can't figure out WHY you care SO much about anything and everything Gay. The lives of LGBT Americans don't affect your lives. Giving LGBT Americans equal rights doesn't take away any of your rights. There is no logical reason for what you are doing. In trying to figure out why you all have been so Homo-focused lately. I have managed to boil it down to three possible explanations.

1) You are in fact, all closeted self-hating Homosexuals yourselves, who desperately want to get in on all the Gay action, and this the only way that feel you can.

2) You are mentally challenged bigots who really do believe the insane, hateful bile you are spewing, you as a result feel that the LGBT Americans are less than human, and like Hitler with the Jews, hope for their eventual extermination.

Or, the third (and most plausible explanation)

3) You are merely lazy political opportunists, devoid of any real ideas or solutions for America's problems. While desperately searching for an issue you think can scare people in to supporting your party and your causes, decided Gays and Lesbians are the last minority you can get away with trying to demonize for political gain. So anyone who disagrees with you gets painted with the "Gay" label,

So dear Conservatives, I have to ask; which is it? Are you all really just Gay and self-hating? Are you all just crazy and bigoted? Or are you all just intellectually bankrupt and dishonest?

Your non-stop obsession with Gays and Lesbians, their lives, their families, their civil rights (or maintaing the lack thereof...), makes any other answer, nearly impossible to believe.

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