Hat tip to Eric Dolan over at RAWStory for this little gem from my home state...Republican candidate for Wisconsin Lt. Governor Rebecca Kleefisch compared same-sex marriage to marrying a clock during a radio interview.
"This is a slippery slope," Kleefisch said. "In addition to that at what point are we going to be okay marrying inanimate objects? Can I marry this table or this, you know, clock? Can we marry dogs?" "This is ridiculous," continued Kleefisch. "And biblically, again, I'm going to go right back to my fundamental Christian beliefs marriage is between one man and one woman."
Wow... the only things she's missing are Tina Fey glasses, and a husband who doesn't speak but just poses with a dead moose and a snowmobile. But I say let's take little Becky Kleefisch at her word and she really means it when she says; I'm going to go right back to my fundamental Christian beliefs".
So if she wasn't lying and just trying to use homophobia to rally her tea-bagging, civil rights fearing, home skooled minions. And we accept that she truly holds real honest to God, fundamentalist Biblical beliefs; Then we can expect Kleefish to announce any day now, that she is quitting the race and submitting herself to death by public stoning. The fundamentalist biblical punishment for a woman daring to speak in public and seek public office with out her owner's (Father's, husband's or oldest male sibling's) permission.
We can expect in her next speech on agriculture, one of Wisconsin's major industries; Kleefish will confirm her deeply held belief that any WI Farmer who plants different crops side by side is to be arrested and put to death for committing an abomination unto the Lord Thy God.
And since Kleefisch holds her fundamentalist beliefs so deeply and honestly, we can safely assume that any member of her campaign staff wearing clothing made from two different types of material will also be turned over to the authorities for capital punishment. Not to mention the fact that The Kleefish campaign certainly has NEVER held any events or done any campaigning on Sundays, as that would be in violation of the Sabbath itself.
In fact, lets take a good look at exactly how the GOP Candidate for Lt. Governor of Wisconsin's fundamentalist beliefs actually DO define the institution of marriage...
But in all seriousness... Rebecca Kleefisch is a either a blasphemous bigot or an idiot. What I find most interesting about tea-bagging troglodytes like Kleefisch, is their constant selective bible thumping. They say the "Bible" is the inerrant word of God and want to use it to deny civil rights and basic freedoms to other Americans, but they NEVER practice what they preach.
Their mis-use of the Bible is to pick bits of it selectively and use ONLY random lines that can be taken completely out of context to support whatever it is they are saying at the time. But that isn't even the real issue here. Neither is Kleefish's tired re-used comparison of Same Sex marriage to someone wanting to marry a piece of furniture or their pet..
But what is most galling about Kleefisch's homophobic bile, is not her assertion that somehow her beliefs are "Christian", nor is it her desire to make those beliefs the basis of public policy in the State of Wisconsin. What is most galling about what Kleefisch does, is that when she says "Christian Beliefs" she really means only HER beliefs.
I am a Christian, and I worship regularly at one of the oldest protestant churches in the Western United States. St. Mark's Lutheran Church in San Francisco is in fact, the oldest Lutheran Church west of the Mississippi River, founded in 1849. I am the son of Lutheran Pastor and yes, have even taught Sunday School and Confirmation classes.
So when Sister Rebecca over there starts talking about what Christians believe, she certainly doesn't speak for me, or millions of Christians just like me, who DO believe that all of us Gay and Straight are loved equally by God, and deserve the SAME rights. Including the right to get married.
When you claim that religion has the right to dictate to the State how to function, you then by that very fact, must allow the State to dictate to the Church in the same way. THAT is what Thomas Jefferson knew and was warning against, when he spoke of the separation of Church and State. If you truly don't believe in that separation then you don't really believe in religious freedom either. Without a the clear constitutional separation of Church and State, America would be essentially no different than Saudi Arabia, or Iran, or the Taliban in Afghanistan .
The hypocrisy and ignorance on display in the Wisconsin Republican Party of 2010, would make the men who gathered in that school house in Ripon Wisconsin and established that party, break down and weep.
Rebecca Kleefisch says that all Americans having equal rights to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness, would lead to people marrying ....a piece of furniture. Hardly surprising, since Kleefisch just proved she clearly has the intelligence of one.