Eric and I celebrated our first year wedding anniversary back in January, and as I read Slaggie Gillamonster's hysterical rantings on the "Threat" posed by same sex marriage, I couldn't help but want to ask her about all those dire predictions she has made about what would happen if two people of the same sex were allowed to get married...
Dear Maggie Gallagher:
Well, It's been well over a YEAR now, And after scanning all the major news outlets all over the world , we discovered something really odd. We ran multiple Google, Bing, Yahoo and even a few Alta Vista searches (that takes ya' back huh?), and found that there has been a disturbing lack of apocalyptic disasters that We can claim direct responsibility for.
We were shocked to learn that in the past year, apparently none of the following things have happened.
- A mad rush of people marrying their pets...
- Pandemic Polygamy
- All across America Kindergarten students taught classes on Gay sex...
- Scores of Clergy rounded up and put in prison for preaching...
- Marriage as a civil institution collapsing and millions of Heterosexual couples getting divorced...
- America as a Nation overrun by godless hordes bent on enslaving our people and destroying our very way of life.
- Opposite Sex couples in America completely stopping having Children...
After all, We can't even count the number of times we have heard You, and your cadre of self-proclaimed "Family Values" proponents spew dire warnings of doom, gloom, apocalypse and general hubbub and brouhaha should Eric and I ever get married.
Well, guess what? We are married, and have been for a year and four months now.
Where are the plagues of frogs, locusts and boils? Where is the collapse of Western civilization as we know it, due to its very foundation being rent asunder by the HORROR of Eric and I getting married back in January of 2011?
Nothing? .... Anyone? ... Anybody? ... Really?
How terribly disappointing, And after you went to all that trouble to pay those actors to look so scared.
A bigot.
So.... Where are all the promised apocalyptic consequences? Where are the mass divorces of all the marriages Eric and I supposedly "attacked" last year, by tying the knot ourselves? Where is all the promised damage to millions of children who are now, (according to you), so confused as to what a marriage is?
Where are the plagues of frogs, locusts and boils? Where is the collapse of Western civilization as we know it, due to its very foundation being rent asunder by the HORROR of Eric and I getting married back in January of 2011?
How terribly disappointing, And after you went to all that trouble to pay those actors to look so scared.
For years now , whenever the subject of marriage equality comes up as part of our national discourse, You claim it is an "attack" on marriage and the family. So we decided to look up the word `attack' in the dictionary. The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines it as:
Hmmm… to set upon or work against forcefully huh? Ok, so if we take your argument seriously, for Eric and I to have the same rights as any other couple, not more rights, not any new rights that other couples do not currently have, but only the exact same rights, would injure, damage and potentially even destroy heterosexual marriages and families.
Uh.. ok.. How exactly?
Does the fact of our marriage now mean that you have lost the 1,100 federal benefits and protections that you had a year ago? Does the fact that we are now married mean you and your spouse can no longer file a joint tax return, have, adopt or raise children, pass on social security survivor benefits, or make medical decisions for each other?
Attack
Pronunciation: &-'tak
Function: verb
1 : to set upon or work against forcefully
2 : to assail with unfriendly or bitter words
3 : to begin to affect or to act on injuriously
4 : to set to work on
5 : to threaten (a piece in chess) with immediate capture
Pronunciation: &-'tak
Function: verb
1 : to set upon or work against forcefully
2 : to assail with unfriendly or bitter words
3 : to begin to affect or to act on injuriously
4 : to set to work on
5 : to threaten (a piece in chess) with immediate capture
Hmmm… to set upon or work against forcefully huh? Ok, so if we take your argument seriously, for Eric and I to have the same rights as any other couple, not more rights, not any new rights that other couples do not currently have, but only the exact same rights, would injure, damage and potentially even destroy heterosexual marriages and families.
Uh.. ok.. How exactly?
Does the fact of our marriage now mean that you have lost the 1,100 federal benefits and protections that you had a year ago? Does the fact that we are now married mean you and your spouse can no longer file a joint tax return, have, adopt or raise children, pass on social security survivor benefits, or make medical decisions for each other?
Does our being married now mean that people will no longer want to even get married. and if they are married, will now want to get divorced? Has your marriage or family changed in any way as result of what happened to us last year?
The answer of course, is no. None of your talking points on same sex marriage stand up to even basic common sense. But it's pretty clear that common sense isn't something you deal in very much.
You say that gay marriage cheapens or lessens the value of the institution of marriage in the eyes of society. But since none of the rights or benefits that you enjoy have changed in any way as result of our marriage; What you are really saying is that for YOU, Eric and I getting married has cheapened your own marriage in your own eyes.
Our getting married means we now have something that, (again, according to you,) only heterosexuals are supposed to have, and that makes you mad. It's not just that you wanted to prevent Eric and I from having equal rights, you want make sure that we don't have any rights at all..
The answer of course, is no. None of your talking points on same sex marriage stand up to even basic common sense. But it's pretty clear that common sense isn't something you deal in very much.
Our getting married means we now have something that, (again, according to you,) only heterosexuals are supposed to have, and that makes you mad. It's not just that you wanted to prevent Eric and I from having equal rights, you want make sure that we don't have any rights at all..
You see equal rights for us, as an attack on you. That's interesting...
Let's be honest Maggie, this isn't about "protecting marriage". It's about people you don't like, having the same rights as you. Even though your life clearly has not changed in ANY way, you firmly believe that your marriage now has less value, lower status, and the institution itself, could come to an end. All because Eric and I were able to get married last year.
It suddenly occurs to me there is a word for someone who is irrationally fixated on the preservation of inequality, that they feel is in their favor. It turns out, Merriam-Webster's dictionary has the same word for it.
Your latest broken record argument is that somehow, you are the real victim of oppression. That your freedom to deny civil rights to people you don't like, is being 'attacked' by pro-equality activists. Keep trying to sell that snake oil Maggie. It may make you feel better when you look in the mirror have to face what the rest of the world sees....
Let's be honest Maggie, this isn't about "protecting marriage". It's about people you don't like, having the same rights as you. Even though your life clearly has not changed in ANY way, you firmly believe that your marriage now has less value, lower status, and the institution itself, could come to an end. All because Eric and I were able to get married last year.
It suddenly occurs to me there is a word for someone who is irrationally fixated on the preservation of inequality, that they feel is in their favor. It turns out, Merriam-Webster's dictionary has the same word for it.
Bigot
Pronunciation: 'bi-g&t
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle French, hypocrite, bigot
1: a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own
opinions and prejudices
Pronunciation: 'bi-g&t
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle French, hypocrite, bigot
1: a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own
opinions and prejudices
Your latest broken record argument is that somehow, you are the real victim of oppression. That your freedom to deny civil rights to people you don't like, is being 'attacked' by pro-equality activists. Keep trying to sell that snake oil Maggie. It may make you feel better when you look in the mirror have to face what the rest of the world sees....
A bigot.
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