Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Put on Your "rapture jammies" kids! The end is neigh!

In  all the  news  of  Wills and Kate getting married, Osama Bin Laden getting what he deserved, and various and sundry  Republican  wannabees  deciding NOT to run  for President;  I have been woefully remiss in mentioning the BIGGEST news story of them all!

*ahem*   THE WORLD IS GOING TO END   THIS SATURDAY!!  ....   No really.    Seriously,  a crazy guy said so on the internet, so it must be true!

Here we go again...   Harold Camping, (the loony tune 'Lurch the Adams Family Butler',  of Wingnut Radio,) is saying  (again) the world is going to end.  But wait it gets better!    Apparently  the  REASON the end of the world is happening now, is  because  San Francisco  is full of  .....   THE GAYS!

(via JoeMyGod)
The San Francisco Chronicle reports today that End Times proponent Harold Camping credits gay pride events and same-sex marriage for hastening the arrival of Saturday's rapture. Camping also says that 200 million Christians (only) will ascend to heaven in three days (time zone by time zone, beginning at 6PM, you'll recall) with the rest of us to be turned into pillars of salt, destroyed by earthquake, or burned alive in a hail of sulfur. All that will take place over the next five months because the Earth itself isn't scheduled to explode until October 21st.

The funny bit? When I hear or read nonsense like this, part me thinks, "wait.... we all get five months where the world will be  free of all the rapture wing nuts? Cool!" 

 In all seriousness, I can actually understand why these people are so eager for the world to end. The real world scares these people, a lot. I mean think of it, Women voting, freedom of expression and thought all over the place. All that "science stuff" that contradicts their views on ....well, everything. On top of all of that, there's this black guy in White House!

So, I guess if I was a bigoted,  reality-challenged half-literate moron, who believed the Earth is only 6000 years old, and was convinced the Human Race started with two fully formed people named Adam and Eve.  Who rode around a garden on dinosaurs chatting it up with talking snakes?  The 21rst Century would probably scare the crap out of me too.

So to my friends in the SF Bay Area, when you see Harold Camping and his tens of devoted followers, camped out in downtown Oakland, all  waiting to get "Beamed Up" to wing nut never-never land.  Smile as you walk by and say "Have a nice trip!" You'll make their day. Which is a warm memory they all are going to need, when the world is still here, come Sunday Morning.   
Take it away  Criswell....

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